A. Sharpe Life

Hope

2012-01-27T13:37:00.001-05:00

What does that word really mean to me?

I just got off the phone with my dear friend, Steph, and now my brain is racing. She always makes me think in the best sort of ways.

Lots of things have been happening at the Dale House recently and I still love to hear about them and talk about them. Its sort of an addiction. I just love to hear what’s going on there and learn from my friends still there. I truly feel like God has created me to work with kids similar to those that live at the Dale House, and while my schooling is preparing me to do that, I am not currently in direct contact with those kids and it is hard. We are often put in places we don’t want to be, but God uses those times. Moses probably didn’t want to be in the desert. Paul probably didn’t want to be in prison. And Jonah probably didn’t want to be in the belly of a whale, but God used those times for his glory. He will use this time in my life as well.

Steph and I talked about all sorts of things. The weather, the Tar Heels, family, trips, the kids at the DHP, my school, and we talked about hope. We were talking about the kids at the Dale House and other kids like them. How do we share the hope of Jesus Christ with them in this hopeless world? In their hopeless situations? They literally have nothing. No family. No home. No good friends. No money. Nothing. Maybe one cardboard box of clothes and shampoo that they can call their own. The life looks pretty hopeless. They carry guns for protection or so they won’t be the “bitch” in their gang. They do meth everyday because it’s the only way the pain of being raped every weekend goes away. They sell their bodies for sex so they have a place to sleep at night. Hope? It seems hard to tell these kids to have hope in Christ when they have nothing. But that’s just it…our hope shouldn’t be in those things and we shouldn’t equate Jesus with things.

Which brings me to my point. Where is MY hope? I have a home. I have a great family. I have lots of cardboard boxes of clothes. I have good friends. Where is MY hope? Is my hope in my home? Is my hope in my family? in my clothes? in my friends? It is easy for me to have hope in “Christ” when my life looks so promising, so is my hope really in Christ, or in those things? What if I lost all of my things/family/friends? What if my life switched places with these kids? Where would my hope be? Would I even have hope?

Do I truly believe Jesus is all-powerful and all good, all majestic? Or do I believe that because I have a nice life? What if my life all of a sudden turned awful? Would I believe in that same Jesus? I hope I would. I really hope I would. Jesus is not the things he has given me. He is so much more than that.

I so badly want for these kids to have hope and to know Jesus. I want them to know the hope past a “feel good” life. But I want to know that hope too. I know it is there, but I want to trust it and REALLY know it. I want to have hope, not in things, not in the fact that my life is pretty middle class, not in the fact that I have people who love me, but in the fact that I have JESUS who loves me. I want that to be enough. I hope for a hope where Jesus is all I really need.

One song says “My hope IS built on nothing else than Jesus my Emmanuel.” That is my hope that I could sing that honestly.

“It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living!”

Ephesians 1:11

De-spectacular-ber

2012-01-22T19:12:00.001-05:00

December was fannnntastic. By far my favorite month in this semester (maybe because I didn’t have school work for about 3 weeks of it? Could be a good reason)

I’m not going to lie, and I want to write a good long blog on it, but these first few months in Charleston have been tough. Marriage has been great, the town is beautiful, I am so blessed with my job and I like what I am learning in school, and people have been so nice in including me in things. I forget to look at the good side of things sometimes so I wanted to recognize all those blessings on here. But, I miss the DHP. More than words can explain and it has been a tough transition from there to here. (again, more on that later) Luckily, my husband realized how hard of a time I was having and was supportive of me in wanting to spend money and take a trip to visit those beautiful Rocky Mountains.

I had about 7 days in between two of my exams, and the weekend just happened to line up with the weekend that Stephy was not on duty (thanks, God!) so I bought a ticket and hopped on a jet plane to Colorado. I’m pretty sure I cried when I looked out my plane window at the majestic mountains. I mean, geeeez Louise.

My time in Colorado was incredible. Just incredible. Not only was I WAY excited to see Steph and Kallie and spend time with them, I was also excited to go line dancing at the Grizzly Rose, eat fro-yo at ITopIt, and play nerts in Agia Sophia. I couldn’t stop squealing when I got there. I went to a 2:30 meeting and giggled the whole time out of excitement.It really felt like a weekend back in heaven for me.

My whole team (minus Travy and Sam) still works at the DHP. Steph is a team leader, Kallie is still day-time supervisor, Jesse is the other team leader, and Niko works with Phase 3 residents. Isn’t that crazy? PLUS while I was there, Sam was visiting for a funeral of one of his primaries. It was a sad reason to be visiting, but I was just so happy that we could all be together again. I got to see Geordan (my first primary), his awesome girlfriend Deborah, the Comiskeys, George and Jane, Kim!, Matt and Kate and Grafton!, the Woodards! ahhhh. My time there was so rich and full.

One thing I love about the DHP is the amount of comfort and acceptance that is immediately offered by every person there. I felt like I had never left. It was completely...well, just right. I think its because the presence of God is so in that place. More on that in the post that is coming later : ) this is just a catch up blog, not a sappy one : )

Anyway, I had a blast and was sad to leave but happy to get back to Allan. I just feel sooooooo blessed by my friendships with Steph and Kallie. They are rare friends and I am incredibly blessed just being in their presence. They truly get my heart and love me despite my craziness. (They are pretty crazy themselves)

After I got back from Colorado, I had my last and final exam on a Wednesday and Allan had his exam on that Thursday. After that... ...WE WERE FREEEEEEE! For 21 days!!!!!!!!!!! It was bliss!! No studying. No library. No not seeing each other for long extended periods of time. We got to do all sorts of fun things together! It really was awesome. We walked around downtown, rode bikes, went on a carriage tour, out to dinner, Christmas shopping, did house work, watched movies, etc. etc. etc. and only went to the Library to print Groupons. Awesome.

After a small stay-cation in Charleston, we headed to NC!

We headed to NC for Christmas with my family on the Wednesday before Christmas and just had a jolly time hanging out. The time always go by so quickly, but I just love it so much. I really do love watching my niece and nephew for hours on end and laughing at and commenting on everything they do.

My family has a tradition of eating lots of yummy, terrible (for you) foods on Christmas morning. One of those being country ham. Every year, my dad and mamaw make a trip to Ronnie’s Country Store in downtown Winston-Salem to buy the ham. This year, Allan and I went along and man, it is an old-timey store with really small aisle, meat hanging from the ceiling, and real bottled cokes from Mexico….yum.

We started a new tradition this year, and a funny one considering I am the youngest child, but we started the pajama tradition! My mom bought us matching PJ pants and then made us matching shirts! Even the babies had coordinating PJs. It was fun and cute : ) I’m really thankful for our silliness.

Grandkids at Meemaw’s house!

We drove back home on Christmas day to spend some time with Allan’s parents! It was fun to drive back to our home together knowing that we would celebrate our first Christmas together in our own little apartment! It was a strange feeling too, but a good strange feeling. : )

We did our Christmas together on Christmas Adam (the day after Christmas). It was fun to wake up and go into the living room and unwrap presents together! Sorry the raw-ness of these next pictures : ) We aren’t our normal hot selfs.

I opened my gift from Allan to find this book (one that my cousin actually had been talking about at Meemaws. He said it was a good read). Now, I don’t mind reading, but this isn’t really my type of book. I was pretty shocked to think Allan bought me this book that my cousin had recommended. I tried to act excited and happy (as any honest wife would do), but I think Allan saw through my disappointment and encouraged me to look through the book. It was a trick. He found the book at Goodwill and bought it because it had the word conversation in it (all before he heard it was a good read from my cousin). Pretty good hiding place if you ask me! I was excited, and still am : )

That evening, we had Christmas with Allan’s family. It was great to be with them and open presents, eat yummy food, and play games! I am thankful for the families we have.

Over break, we were also able to finish some projects! Wahoooo! We finally got pictures printed and in frames! YAY! and finished the end table for the living room! YAY! and the coat rack! YAY! I felt pretty accomplished!

Wow. This is a long post. Props if you made it through the whole thing! It really was a spectacular December with lots of relaxation and time together. Made me really grateful for times of rest that renew and refresh our souls. My soul was for sure refreshed and filled with joy.

Catch Up Blog

2012-01-12T18:48:00.004-05:00

It has been so long since I last blogged, and since I want this to be like a scrapbook of my life, I feel as if I should get moving and try to catch up! (I’m still on my junior year of high school in my real, non-digital scrapbooks…I don’t have much hope there.) So without further ado, I present to you November 2011.

The first highlight (or should I say darklight) of November were these two furry creatures that Allan and I babysat while his parents were in Budapest. I must admit, I do love these funny, funny dogs (seriously, I wish everyone could experience the ridiculousness that happens with these 2 pups) but do I love them at 4am when they want to pee? Certainly not. Do I love them when they, normally weighing about 8 pounds, all of a sudden weigh about 40 lbs when I am trying to move them from my spot in the bed so I can get in it? Not really. Do I love them when they want to sit with me during a movie and cuddle all sweet? Yes! They were actually fun to have around, although they are majorly obsessed with Allan (meaning, waited for him IN the bathroom while he was in the shower) and I had to compete with that. : ) P.S. Yes, those are sweaters on the dogs.

The second highlight of November belongs to Thanksgiving! I really do love Thanksgiving (not only because of the yummy food) but because it gives me an excuse to go home and see my babies! This year, Allan’s parents were in Budapest, so we spent most of the holiday in Winston-Salem with my family. Lots of baby talk and casserole was had.

This is my brother Blake’s plate. He’s a big fan of the color yellow. His son Kessler kept wanting more Macaroni and Blake kept making him eat his other food. Then Blake walked in with this plate. I don’t really think that was fair : ) Love you Blake!

My mom was also really cute and decorate the black chargers to say “We are thankful for ______ (fill in appropriate name).” It was sweet and special.

I took this picture in case you didn’t know what ADORABLE meant.

Lolli (my mom) made some delicious pilgrim hats and chocolate turkeys for HC and Kessler. Watching them eat them was maybe my favorite part of the whole weekend. Honey proclaimed that it was the best turkey she had ever had (mainly because she had only had the meat kind of turkey) and Kessler took a huge bite out of the reese, closed his eyes, and so genuinely said “so yummy” in the sweetest voice ever. Needless to say, they won my hearts yet again.

The above picture is weird, I know. But it is just meant to show you what the back of my dad’s truck looked like as we all piled in there to go to the Festival of Lights at Tanglewood. 7 adults. 2 toddlers. A queen sized mattress. Lots of blankets. and my dad and mamaw in the cabin of the truck with 2 empty car seats. It looked pretty crazy. But it was fun. Until the kids stepped on you really hard and we got stuck in traffic and my brother Drew kept falling asleep. : ) Just kidding. It was pretty fun the whole time!

I became even more of an official South Carolina resident by finally putting on the SC license plate that had been sitting in my car for over a month. It was a big moment!

After Thanksgiving with my fam, Allan and I made a pit-stop in Raleightown to meet this beautiful little girl! I still cannot believe that Annie is a MOM! A MOM! whhhhat? Sophie is awesome and was so chill (i.e. sleeping) the whole time! I loved getting to hold her and I cannot wait to watch her grow! YAY!

Another highlight of November was when we broke a Guinness World Record. You read that right. We broke a Guinness World Record. One of Allan’s professor’s daughters was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma last November. Her name is Ansley and she is 6 years old. Ansley drew a picture which became the inspiration for this world record breaking experience. It was quite crazy actually. You see, someone figured out how to divide Ansley’s small picture in 500 + ways, then get children from all over Charleston to draw 1 of those 500 sections onto a large white poster, then get those posters in order, then organize 500+ people to come to a soccer field, line up in a certain order, then hold their certain poster board in the air for 10 minutes straight so that the picture could be seen from above. So that is how we broke the world record for the largest mosaic picture held by people (specific, I know, but hey, it’s a record!). It was actually really, really cool and you should read more about it here. Ansley took her last bit of chemo the morning of the record but was there to cheer us on! It was awesome! Below is a picture of the friends who went with us and our pieces of the record!

Since Allan and I just got married, I thought, what better time than now to start our own family traditions? First one: Cut down our own tree! Believe it or not, we were able to do this, not in the mountains, but along the coast realllly close to the beach at this cute little farm called Toogoodoo. Say it outloud. It’s fun.

We went the day after Thanksgiving and I just really loved it! I wasn’t used to the kind of trees that grow along the coast (they are not Fraser firs, which took me some adjusting!) but our tree turned out to be awesome and perfect for our mini-sized apartment! It was quite a search however, we walked allllll over the farm, from corner to corner, taking pictures of different ones to help us chose the best one. And we did choose the best one. Enjoy the photos!

Allan measuring the tree (it was too tall) and then a little photo-op, props to the tree for taking it.

We found THE ONE. and the cutting began. We actually chopped a tree in half, but it’s okay. We had permission.

And we got it home and decoratedddddd with our 10 ornaments! Yes!

Well, I think that sums up November. Next up, December!

Fall Fun Part 2!

2011-11-19T17:01:00.001-05:00

Here is the part two you all have been anxiously waiting for!

Test weekends: (n:)

1. a weekend of pure joy.

2. A weekend when no studying what so ever takes place.

3. A weekend of all playing and fun.

4.Abby’s favorite weekends.

These weekends occur about once every two months and let me tell ya, I look so forward to them! I am proud of Allan for studying and doing so well and being so dedicated to learning more and using the abilities Jesus has given him and it’s nice to get to celebrate his hard work after he takes a test! The way MUSC works is in “blocks.” They learn about different things are a set amount of time (ex. 6 weeks) and then take a GINORMOUS test on everything they have learned. I couldn’t do it. Allan does it really well.

So the whole weekend after the test is FREE! So new material to study yet! and it’s so fun!

This past test weekend (ok, I’m a little late, it was about 3 weeks ago!) we carved a pumpkin, cleaned the house, went through mail (all exciting things, trust me!), slept in late, ate breakfast late, and celebrated Halloween with some of our friends. Enjoy the photos and try to figure out our costumes! (the answer is at the bottom :) )

Allan was better at the carving, so I cleaned out the seeds!

Halloweeeeen!!

Hint: It’s a pun!

On actually Halloween day, we decided to take a trip to the fair since we are too old to go trick or treating : ( It was a lot of fun though! Great weather and a fun time to be with friends, eat really nasty food, ride rides, and wear joutfits again. Praise God for county fairs. They are just unbelievable.

and no, we didn’t eat this, but I still thought this was amazing.

Anyone figure out our costume? Hawaiian Punch!

Hope everyone has great Thanksgiving!

gobble, gobble!

WELCOME SOPHIE!

2011-11-11T13:42:00.001-05:00

I am so excited to announce that Sophie Lee Frank has arrived into the world!

Annie (preggo below) and Christine (not preggo below) have been some of my best friends since well...our birth! I am so thankful for both of them and getting to celebrate amazing things in life together, from learning to ride bikes, to high school graduations, to weddings, and now to Annie’s (and Josh’s!) first baby, Sophie!

I can’t wait to meet the little bundle of cuteness! Congrats Josh and Annie!

Fall Fun Part 1

2011-11-06T19:45:00.001-05:00

I had really good intentions of keeping up with my blog once I got caught up with the wedding blog, but well, life happen. So here’s a little snippet of the past month for the Sharpes (that is fun to say!)

At the first feel of cool weather, I was ready to get into the fall spirit and eat pumpkin muffins, drink warm drinks, go to a pumpkin patch, etc. etc. etc. Charleston has a great place called Boone Hall Plantation that knows how to celebrate the fall! Pumpkin patch, corn maze, inflatable games, a jumping pillow (see picture below), a slide tower (pictures below!), a spider web maze, and a petting zoo! Luckily, we have friends with a kid, so we talked them into going so it wouldn’t be so strange for us to go! : ) Plus, we like those friends a lot and wanted to hang with them! Enjoy the photos!Allan conquering the spider web maze (or doing the Harlem Shake, depends how you look at it) Jumping Pillow!

And my favorite sequence of pictures, thanks to Sarah Williams! Make sure to note Allan’s face:

We were also able to make the trek up to the dash to celebrate my parents’ birthdays! I am thankful to be closer and have the ability to drive to be with my family to celebrate things like this. I am thankful for my parents and happy we were able to celebrate them! But, as is normally the case, all of my pictures are of the babies. They are just too cute! Sorry about the robe picture Blake : )

I also found out that I am going to be an aunt again! Blash and Dratalie are both expecting again! YAY FOR MORE BABIES!

Okay, stay tuned for part 2: Test Weekend, Halloween, and the Fair!

The Stair Victory

2011-10-28T11:10:00.001-04:00

I am so far behind on blogging, but I feel the need to not wait to share this story until I am caught up.

This past Tuesday I had the awesome opportunity to observe a class of high school students with IDD (Intellectual Deficit Disorder, the new name for MR). The students were amazing. So cute and just wonderfully created.

I have to admit that I was nervous about the observation. I get uncomfortable in those situations and I just didn’t want to act funny or be weird. I even shared that with the teacher before the students got to class just in case I seemed skittish. Of course, I didn’t want to feel this way and couldn’t really understand why I did. I know they are just like I am and I know they are loved by Jesus and a beautiful creation in his sight.

and, boy, did Jesus remind me of that while I was there.

Part of the daily schedule is to go on a walk. This teaches the students the importance of exercise and using our bodies. The teacher hope to ingrain this in the student’s minds so that when they are no longer students at the school, they will remember to exercise.

As we walked out onto the track around the football field, I noticed “Stevie” hanging back and walking slowly up the wheelchair ramp that led up to the bleacher seats. The teacher told me not to worry about Stevie. This was normal for Stevie and that he just needed time at the beginning of the walk to explore the stairs. You see, Stevie used to be afraid of the stairs and is slowly exploring them to overcome that fear.

He continued to share with us that at the beginning of the year, he found Stevie at the bottom of the stairs that lead to the bleachers just staring at them. Stevie is non-verbal and unable to verbally express his wants or desires to the teacher, so when the teacher said “What’s wrong Stevie?”, Stevie just looked at the stairs. The teacher, being perceptive, said “Do you want to go up the stairs Stevie?” Stevie flapped his hands in excitement. “Well, go on then.” Again, Stevie just stood there. So the teacher said “Do you want me to go with you?” Again, Stevie flapped his hands in excitement. So up they went, together climbing the stairs that lead to the bleachers.

Since that day the teacher reported that Stevie has slowly been making his way up the bleachers. He will walk up to about the 4th row and then turn around, afraid to go further.

Until that Tuesday.

I was continuing to bombard the teacher with questions about teaching students with IDD when we both looked up at the bleachers and saw something that I am getting chills from right now to think about.

There was Stevie and there was Mr. C, an assistant in the classroom…with their arms draped over each other… climbing the stairs…together. It was clear that Mr. C was basically holding Stevie up and encouraging him the whole way. I imagine he was saying “come on Stevie, one more step, you can do it! I’m next to you! Don’t be afraid! You got this!”

Then they made it. All the way to the top. Arm in Arm.

I wish I would have had a camera to capture that moment when Stevie turned around and excitingly clapped his hands and gave Mr. C a high five. The cheer was not only in Stevie’s eyes, but also in Mr. C’s. It was hard to hold back the tears.

After a minute or so, Stevie and Mr. C climbed back down the same way…arms around each other…slowly… together.

Whew. It was an amazing accomplishment! It was so cool to see! Stevie came over to give us each a high five. He was so proud of himself and we were so proud of him!

What a beautiful picture that was for me. Its just like Jesus carries us. Sometime we don’t want to go that way or take that step a little higher, but he put his arm tightly around our shoulder and supports and encourages us the whole way. We can do it. We can take that step higher. We can love a little more. and we don’t have to be afraid because he is there. and he will carry us and cheer us on for what may seem like the simplest of accomplishments.

Climb those stairs…He’s got you.

Truth.

2011-10-23T15:29:00.001-04:00

My friend Kallie is such a blessing to me and her blog from today is just too good to not share. Thank you Kallie for living life with these kids and loving them regardless of anything. Thank you for the reminder that they are worth fighting for.

http://7westdale.wordpress.com/

Charleston Cribz…

2011-10-09T18:16:00.004-04:00

Thanks to my parents, Allan and I were able to get a lot of things moved into our new home together before the wedding! This was extremely helpful since we started school 3 days after we got back from the ‘moon. It was also fun to put together this place that was going to be ours! Crazyyyyy. Anyways, here are a couple photos. But this is no substitution for a physical visit to our home. (read: please come visit!)

(Left): This is our front stoop, a door to the porch, and the mailbox. We’re B : ) The apartment is the bottom floor of a “single home” hence we have a door to the porch.

(Left) This is a view from the porch that lead to our laundry room (read: washer and dryer behind us in the foyer of the house. The stairs on my right lead to the upstairs apartment) and the door to our actual apartment. Confusing, I know. You should just come for a visit for it to make more sense.

(Right): our living room from the door.

(Left): the kitchen and dining room.

(Right): the bedroom. You can see the floor now though.

(Left): The bathroom. I know you were waiting for this shot!

and that’s it! Its small and quaint and ours together. and I love it. : ) It’s not much to clean either which is one of my favorite parts! Maybe I’ll put some new pictures up someday now that we are moved in completely! Come visit!

NOW GET OUT MTV. PEACE.

My Maine Man

2011-10-05T22:25:00.001-04:00

It’s a popular question…Where are y’all going on your honeymoon??

Well, I thought we were going to the Biltmore House.

and that’s what I told everyone.

Turns out Allan had a little trick up his sleeve.

After the wedding, we met my parents in the parking lot to pick up a few things. I had not packed well (meaning lots of things all over the car, lots of bags, nothing organized, etc.) because I thought we would have Allan’s car and I could pack as much as I wanted. As we are saying our goodbyes and Allan is rushing for us to leave, my sweet dad (bless his heart), seeing this packed car, questions… “are you going to park that in long term parking??”

Huh?

“I mean, you know, long term parking at the Biltmore House, uhh, blah, blah, blah.”

Long term parking happens at an airport, which would mean we were flying somewhere? But the Biltmore is driving distance! Confusion set in.

Allan and all his sweetness had planned a surprise honeymoon trip! He had told my parents only a few weeks earlier and they did so good keeping the secret, until the very last minute! But it was still a HUGE surprise to me!

Allan still wouldn’t tell me exactly where we were going until the next morning.

He told me…“We’re going to Maine!”

I said…”Maine??” I was so confused! Who visits Maine? on a honeymoon?

I could not have asked for a better place to go! It was perfect! The weather was crisp and cool (perfect in my definition), the hotel was gorgeous and I felt like a princess, the view was incredible. It was just perfect! Maine is beautiful and there was lots to do! It was fantastic!

Good first move there as a hubby, Al.

Funny story: We were running SO late on Monday morning and were not going to make it to the airport in time to check luggage! I have never seen Allan drive so fast! On the way, we realized that we were not going to have time to park in long term parking (funny, dad, funny), we decided that Allan would drop me off and he would park in hourly parking…yes, HOURLY! (again, funny dad.) and we would try to get a friend to move it for us. As I tried to check in, I realized I didn’t know where in Maine we were going. By the time I got it figured out, we were too late to check luggage. After begging the lady, she let us check out luggage! yay! Clothes! Allan then came in and we ran through the airport to security, went through the first class line (even though we weren’t) and then ran to the gate! We made it! Only to find out the plane was 2 hours delayed. That would have been nice to know. A HUGE thanks to Stephanie Pitt and her parents for moving our car for us to long term parking!! Wow. That was such a big help and gift to us! Thank you!!!!

Here are some photos, MAINEly for my mom : )!

Lobster is EVERYWHERE!

Probably my favorite picture of Allan ever. He was sympathizing with the dead lobster, poor guy.

We got to go on a bi-plane ride (thanks, Carleton!) and it was super fly ; ) get it?

Coffee on the porch : ) and a lighthouse (I don’t remember why it’s significant…oops!)

Blueberries are also everywhere, so we had to sample the blueberry soda, of course!

Whale Watching and Lobster Fishing!

and finally…the beautiful view from our room!

It was fannntastic! And not even that sad to leave because I got to come home to our new home together! yay! That’s another post too! I know…I know…way to many posts recently but I am trying to get caught up on my digital scrapbook

The Day I Became A. Sharpe

2011-10-04T11:06:00.001-04:00

It was the best wedding I have ever been to. Mainly because of the man involved (I mean, just check out that photo below), but also because of my amazing parents and our incredible friends and family who gave up an entire weekend to celebrate with us. We seriously had so much fun with everyone and feel so humble that people were willing to do that for us! It was like a dream come true for me…everyone I love in one place at the same time! AHH! So great!

The ceremony was incredible—the best I have ever heard. My brother, Drew, married us, which was super special. He did such an amazing job portraying the holiness of marriage and our responsibility to each other in this relationship. I have a copy of it if anyone wants to read it. Seriously. It really was amazing. It was so special to me to have Drew marry us. He is such an awesome brother that I just look up to so much, so to have him in that role of marrying us, challenging us in this step, was incredible.

The reception was a blast too! I just love to dance, and dance is what we did.

We even line danced!! Praise God!

We left on a motorcycle and side-car…well, sort of!

Allan revved the engine to take off, everyone was cheering and then…..chhhhuuuuu….the engine died!

That’s okay, we tried again! Allan revved the engine, everyone cheered and……chhhuuuuu…the engine died again!

Third time is a charm though!

Allan revved the engine, everyone cheered and then…..chhhhhhuuuu….but then we started moving!

how?

Three of Allan’s groomsmen started pushing us! How incredible is that? They pushed us up the hill and then one of them said “drop it into gear” so Allan did and off we went! YAY! It was so much fun!

It was such a fun day! We are so thankful to everyone who helped to make it so special by being there and supporting us! We were humbled by the outpour of love, gifts, time, words, encouraging words, and excitement for us. So THANK YOU! We’re married! for life! Crazy! and so exciting! YAY!

Here are some more photos to check out of the day! Thanks so much to Elizabeth of Almond Leaf Studios (who has a really cool motivation to her photography, by the way) and Lauren Jackson of Lauren Jackson Photography for these amazing shots! They are so incredibly talented!

so thankful that Geordan, my primary from the DHP, and his girlfriend got to be there! and the CLB’s!

There are even more here (Almondleaf blog) and here (Lauren Jackson Photography) if you want to see them!!

and here is a sweet 5 minute video by Ryan Plantz to help us remember the day in motion!!

Allan & Abby Sharpe 8.14.2011

p.s. Thanks Mom and Dad for everything! It was awesome!

My friends are the best.

2011-10-02T17:34:00.001-04:00

I have some incredible friends. It’s true. I feel so blessed to have the friends in my life that I do.

The wedding weekend made that even more evident to me as these girls that I love so much came from all over to hang out with me and support me as I married my best friend. It was such an awesome, special treat for me to have all of my favorite people in one place. I felt like I was on cloud 9! I know it was a glimpse of heaven!

Kallie and Steph arrived on Wednesday and I was soooooo thankful for their help! I literally (not just figuratively) could not have done it without them. They tied bows, wrote names, wrapped presents, just anything I asked them too! and with such willing hearts and excited spirits. I was so happy to get to spend that time with them! …and show Kallie some of the South at its finest : )

The event really kicked into gear on Friday night! Everyone was there!YAY! It was soooo great! My sisters-in-law and my awesome friends Christine and Annie planned a stellar bachelorette party. I felt so cared for and celebrated that night. Thank you so much to everyone for being there! Sadly, I don’t think we got a group pic!

Saturday was equally as great with an incredible bridesmaid's brunch hosted by two of my best friend’s moms, Katie and Sheri! The food was delicious and the time was sweet! Thank you guys so much!

My beautiful bridesmaids!

Saturday night was the rehearsal dinner! It is so cool how the Lord worked things out! There was a wedding at WinMock on Saturday, meaning we should have had to have the rehearsal in a different location, but the wedding was in the morning, which provided the entire afternoon for us to set up and have the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner there! So perfect!

That night was so incredible for me! I loved everything about it. Even more people arrived that night! Lindsey and Rudy from NYC, David from OK, Geordan and Deborah from CO, Travis from CO, Allan’s high school buddies from SC, Guion and Abby from VA, Lisa from New Orleans. (I know I am forgetting some people! I’m sorry!). It was just so humbling that people would sacrifice time and money to be there to celebrate with us. I was so honored and thrilled!

and did I mention it was Tar Heel themed?

We started the night with a time of worship, led by Guion and Allan (Tuesday Night Worship style!) and I loved hearing all my friends singing to Jesus and honoring him. That’s what we wanted the wedding to be—an honor to Christ and focused on him and what he has done, and it was just a great way to start things off.

I was also so thrilled because my primary from the DHP and his girlfriend got to come! I had not seen them until the rehearsal dinner and I almost peed my pants when I did! I was so excited! AND he had ABBY shaved into his head. Talk about an amazing wedding present!

The evening was great. The time of sharing after dinner was so special, and thanks to Steph, I have every speech recorded : ) My brothers and sisters-in-law also planned a super funny newlyweds game for Allan and I to play. It was hilarious! You can watch it here!

It really was such an awesome night. I wish I could really express how thankful I am for all my friends and family who helped to make it so special! Thank you so much!

Most Eventful Summer of my Life (part 2)

2011-10-01T11:11:00.001-04:00

(this is a continuation of the last post which you can read here if you like, but a quick summary…Allan and I drove across beautiful lands, saw lots of cool things, then got engaged! Now you’re all caught up!)

…and plan we did. In fact, that is all we did. We’ll not really.

We also took a trip to Honduras for a week (!!!) It was the 20th anniversary of Mayatan so we went back to celebrate with our students and friends. It was a blast! I love that place so much! Our students were so much bigger! I couldn’t believe how much older they looked in just one year! Other than that, nothing about Honduras had changed! and I love that!

We also spent a week at the beach with my family and got to hang out with these cuties the whole time. Their cuteness is almost too much for anyone to handle.

Oh, and I started a job at College of Charleston.Thanks to Jesus. It is quite a miracle how it happened. Short story version (Kinda) …I didn’t qualify for in-state tuition because CofC does things weird. I would only be able to qualify for Spring semester. I missed all the deadlines for scholarships and graduate assistantships (where they pay for your school if you work 20 hours), so I was basically SOL in terms of reducing my out-of-state tuition to go to CofC, meaning the different of $18,000 as opposed to potentially free the next year because of in-state, an assistantship, or scholarships.

I was calling the School of Education to see if there was someone I could talk to about deferring my acceptance. I explained the situation and the person on the other line got quiet and said…”well, I think there is actually one assistantship left, but its competitive.” “WHO DO I NEED TO TALK TO?!” I was so excited!

So I immediately called the woman and explained the situation to her voicemail. Then, when I hadn’t heard back from her a few hours later, decided to go by her office. She was so nice but told me that she didn’t know what would happen.

So I waited. About 2 weeks later, I received a call from them asking if I would be interested in starting a job for them during the summer, and that it would guarantee the assistantship in the Fall. Um…YES! And even better, they would pay me for working in the summer! Holler.

Pretty crazy huh? Yea, I thought so too. Thank you Jesus.

Whew. What a whirlwind!

But a really fun whirlwind!

So in the midst of those things….

… we took Save the Date pictures (maybe with such short notice this wasn’t necessary, but hey, that’s okay)…

and we registered….

and planned, planned, planned!

and had amazing showers thanks to some awesome friends and family who really showered us with love and gifts to help us start a home. It was such a blessing and we are so grateful for everything! …

and then August was here, meaning it was almost time!

The Most Eventful Summer of My Life

2011-09-28T22:13:00.001-04:00

Well, it’s been an eventful summer to say the least!!

After packing down my car…(I wish you could tell how full it really was!)

and leaving the Dale House, Allan and I journeyed across this beautiful country we call home. Man, it is just beautiful!

Our journey took us through Durango, CO, with a stop by the Sand Dunes. Those things are just incredible. and so random! It’s just a small mountain range of lots and lots of sand, right in front of HUGE 14,000 feet mountains. Where did all that sand come from? I have no idea, but it was still really cool and fun. We got to climb to the (almost) top of this huge pile of sand with bare feet and jeans rolled up. It was so neat.

After our small detour to the Sand Dunes, we settled in Durango, CO for the evening because I wanted to visit one of my old primaries, S, who had been transferred to the jail there.

It was such a good yet hard visit with her. I hate seeing people I know in places like that, but I also love the conversation and emotions that are felt in the visiting room. She cried talking to me about how she had ended up back in jail and cried telling me how lonely and angry she was and how she didn’t want to open herself up to anyone because she was afraid of friendships. It is just not fair. It really isn’t. I will not and never will understand why some people have to grow up in terrible living environments. Her own mother is the one who turned her into the cops and sent her back to jail, but not because she was trying to help her.

It was hard to leave that jail knowing that I may never see S again. We have written letters this summer and she is still in the jail until at least October. She has hopes of going back to the DHP, which I hope that too. I hope she can be somewhere where she feels cared for and valuable.

After visiting with S, Allan and I started a long drive towards the Grand Canyon, with a stop by the 4 corners, of course!

We then drove back into Colorado to get this following picture because we didn’t get one when we drove out there last summer!

After our short visit to Four Corners and the Welcome to Colorful Colorado sign, we became slightly obsessed with a game on Allan’s phone called Angry Birds. So, let me paint a picture for you. Our GPS is on Allan’s phone, but we also are using a map. I am driving, Allan is playing Angry Birds, on the phone, therefore not looking at the GPS. We come to a split in the road and I have to make a quick decision to stay straight or go left. I ask Allan. He looks at the map quickly (because he is in the middle of Angry Birds, of course) and says, “Go left!” So I did.

About 3 hours later and after driving through no-mans-land, literally, (we were the only people we saw that entire time), we decided to look at Allan’s GPS on his phone. We were not even on the map. It turns out that the “go left” turn I made took us onto an uncharted Indian Reservation Road. Now, it was a beautiful drive, but we were SO FAR from where we were trying to go! There were even wild horses (not just dead ones!)! It was so crazy!

We drove about another hour and finally arrived to some civilization where we stayed for the night.

The next day we headed to the Grand Canyon. There is a reason it is called Grand. Holy cow.

Then it was off to Flagstaff, AZ. This is one of the crazier towns I have ever visited. It was super neat though. They were having a festival called Hullabaloo and man, was this a weird festival or what! People of all ages were dressed in the strangest costumes..I’m talking babies, toddlers, all the way up to older adults. It was neat to experience though!

Our next stop took us to Amarillo, Texas. Now that is a strange place. You start smelling the cows about 30 miles out of town and the billboards only advertise eating a 72oz steak. We were there on a Sunday night and it took us about an hour to find an open restaurant. It was just crazy. Amarillo does have a pretty good country song by George Strait about it though, so I guess it has something going for it.

Memphis, TN was our next stop. That was a really fun place. While we only got to spent about 12 hours there total, including sleeping time, we did get to go walking in Memphis with our feet 10 feet off of Beale. It was like a dream come true.

Our next stop took us to Augusta, GA where we got to celebrate the life of Allan’s Ging-Ging. While in Flagstaff, we got the call the she had passed away. She was 95 years old and her health had been failing. It’s never easy when someone dies, but I really enjoyed watching Allan and his family deal with this loss in a positive light. It was a beautiful ceremony and honoring to Ging-Ging and the amazing life she lived. It’s crazy to think about 95 years on Earth! Wow!

After Ging-Ging’s funeral, Allan and I headed to Charleston to be with his family.

and that’s where it happened.

We went out on a date. We were hanging out on a dock. We were just talking like normal.

Then I was tired and it was time to go.

Then Allan was asking me to marry him!

I was confused and I didn’t believe him, but it was real.

We were engaged!!

p.s. This is where it happened. Cool, huh?

It was awesome and exciting and unbelievable.

That was June 12, 2011.

We set the wedding date for August 14, 2011, leaving us 2 months to plan…

Daddy’s Girl

2011-06-21T09:03:00.001-04:00

I’m going to tell you guys a secret.

One reason I love going to weddings is because I know I am going to get to dance with my dad.

and all little girls like to dance with their daddies, even 24 year olds.

If any of you at all know my father, you know he is quite the character. You never really know what he is going to say, and you never really can believe he said it when he did!!

What you may not know about my dad, however, is that he is one of the most faithful men on earth. He is faithful to my mom. He is faithful to his family. He is faithful to his friends. He is faithful to his work.

If I have learned one thing from my dad, it is how a man should love a woman. He cherishes my mom. He adores her. He wants to go grocery shopping just so he can be with her. He loves her as if they just started dating. He still has that excitement for their relationship and wants my mom to feel cared for. I think this is rare in relationships these days, especially for people their age, and I am so happy that I got to grow up under that example. I know how I should be loved and didn’t settle because of my father’s example.

One of my favorite parts of being home with everyone is getting to see how Honey Cate and Kessler just LOVE pops. They say his name and just start laughing. They love him because he loves them so well. He plays all sorts of games with them and tickles them and head bangs with them until they are shaking with laughter. I don’t know how a 60 year old man has that kind of energy, but it is to fun to watch! I think his love for his grandkids is just a small example of the man he is.

I realized over the past year that I take my dad SO for granted. Not only was I surrounded by residents who had never met their fathers, seen their fathers, talked to their fathers, or who even knew who their fathers were, I also had 2 co-workers who lost their fathers at young ages. I am so blessed to know my dad, talk to my dad, be loved by my dad, and have my dad around, in my life, part of my life, sharing my life, wanting to be in my life

I heard this cheesy saying once, but I like it…

“Everyone has a father, but not everyone has a daddy.”

I have a daddy…a great daddy…for whom I am very thankful.

I love you daddy. Happy father’s day.

It’s a rap

2011-06-11T19:20:00.001-04:00

So…I left the Dale House…after a week of crying.

It was really tough for me to leave. It is still hard for me to realize that I am not going back there. This is not just a vacation. I already miss the community so much. I lie awake at night thinking about it. I am constantly subtracting 2 hours now to see what they are doing at the DHP instead of adding 2 hours to see what the East Coast is doing. It’s a weird switch.

One great thing about leaving the DHP is that they are SO good at goodbyes! They want to make sure each person feels appreciated, valued, and like they are leaving well. I really am thankful for that because it gave me sufficient time to say goodbye to people I love so much.

My goodbye process started about 2 weeks before I actually left

Here’s the way it started…

The last weekend my team was off, we took a weekend get-a-way to a beautiful cabin in Breckenridge. We just wanted some time to be together and away from everything else. It was so much fun just sitting around, eating, playing the same “guess who is written on the piece of paper stuck to your head” game, relaxing, and really just doing nothing together. I feel so blessed to have gotten to work with these people. It’s just such a gift. I was really happy that Allan got to be there as well because I wanted him to get to know people I love so much and I wanted to people I love so much to get to know the man I love so much.

Sunday morning was an extra-special time together. We each went around and shared about “our next step” and then each of us prayed for one another. Man, did the tears flow then! It was incredible the spirit of love that was in the room.

(side note: while we were in Breck, we found out the DHP office, mainly our secretary and George, had been robbed at gun point. The DHP has been robbed before but never an armed robbery. They took about $7,000 and the guy was caught later on that day. The guy was an accomplice to an old resident who knew George kept money in the office. Very sad, but we were thankful everyone was okay.)

After that incredible weekend, Stephanie and I spoke at my last Sunday night family night. Of course, I cried, but it was just a really special time to be with the kids and get to tell them something that I believe with all my heart: that they are valuable, worth it, and loved. I just so badly wish I could make all of them believe it!!

After Steph and I spoke, something crazy happened: a resident named D raised his hand from the back and asked if he could say something. This never happens. It’s normally we pray, then the kids disperse immediately. But not tonight. He came to the front behind us and proceeded to thank all the staff for what they do. He was grateful that we stick with them through the thick and the thin. He as thankful for the times we make him mad because we are just trying to make his life better.

I was blown away. What a gift from Jesus that was. If nothing else great would have happened all year, that one little speech from D would have made everything, every fight, every annoyance, every frustration, worth it.

Wednesday night family night was set aside for the kids to get to say goodbye to us. I think this is HUGELY important for these kids because goodbyes are things they are used to, but things they hate. They are used to people walking out of their lives for no reason or explanation. I’m really grateful the DHP recognizes this and wants to help make a smooth transition and also teach the kids how to say goodbye well.

All of the “leaving” training staff set up front while the kids went around and shared memories of each of us. It was so sweet to hear the kids talk and hear what they remembered about the year. One girl, B, who seemingly hated the DHP the entire time she was here, cried her eyes out as she talked about how Stephanie had cared for unlike anyone in her life. It was awesome.

After the “talking” part, we had a small celebration with sparkling cider and cookies! I also used the time for some last minute photos! Here are all the female staff with Kevin and George, our fearless leaders!

Thursday morning was the goodbye time with all of the staff! Another time to cry! YAY!

We all showed up sporting our George t-shirts as a surprise! It was great!

This was also a really special time together. Memories were shared, I cried, and then they prayed for each of us. We also each got the coveted Dale House Project coffee mug and bookmark!! I was so excited : )

Whew…that’s a lot of goodbyes! and that wasn’t even all for me! I worked the last weekend and had to say final goodbyes to all the kids and Kallie, Mike, Annie, Andy, and Travy as they all left for camp on Sunday. That’s when reality really hit.

I spent the next two days packing up my room before Allan and I headed out on Tuesday.

Lots more tears were shed that day as I said final goodbyes to the people who were still around and drove away from that place I grew to love so much.

I can’t describe it exactly, but, man, it’s going to be an adjustment.

so that’s the end of my journey in CO.

but it’s the beginning of my journey in SC. It’s the beginning of taking what I learned from the DHP and living it out. It’s the beginning of answering the call in a different location with different people.

I’m excited and nervous all in one.

The Last Month: 10 month update!

2011-05-15T13:41:00.000-04:00

I think I have been avoiding the reality that I am leaving this place that has become so dear to me.

I have 2 weeks left. That means I actually have only 7 days on duty.

Thursday, as I sat in George’s office before we discussed what I was going to talk about at family night, I just began crying.

No real reason. He just asked me what I thought about my time here and if I thought it had been a good year.

Tears of joy and sadness were all that I could answer.

Let me tell you a few reasons why.

1. This place is a glimpse of heaven: I am truly convinced of this. It radiates Jesus. It radiates Jesus message of love for all creation. It radiates acceptance, honesty, vulnerability, healing, growth, goodness. It is such a gift to be a part of this. I’ve never experienced something so close to heaven. It is my prayer to carry this “heaven” with me. It’s not just a place, which is awesome, because I can take it wit me.

2. The community: I have talked about this so many times, but I don’t think I have even been more content with myself and the people I am surrounded by. This is the first time in my life I have not felt pulled by spreading myself too thin. I have made great, loving, honest, caring friends. Who knew you could hang out with the same 5 people all year and be so joyful? I will miss the laughs, the games, the $2 Tuesdays, being faced, the outfits, the trips to chic-fil-a, being on duty, the inside jokes, the serious conversations, the conversations about Jesus and how to love well.

3. The Leadership: Man. I wish I could learn from George and Kevin for the rest of my life. Their knowledge, insight, wisdom, harsh love, gentle love, and faith is something for which I strive. They are amazing examples of Jesus. I love that they don’t claim to know all the answers, yet provoke such thought in me of all things: from how to deal with a kid to my faith.

4.The kids: This might seem like an obvious reason to miss this place, but work here for a little while, and one might change their mind. I have wrestled with this one too…will I really miss the kids and all the absurdities that come along with them? Oh yea. Life will seem so simple without the daily craziness. I will miss their smiles, I will miss the conversations we have after arguments, I will miss seeing them sing at family nights, I will miss seeing kids emancipate and be so proud of themselves, I will miss celebrating kid’s birthdays for maybe the first time in their life, I will miss seeing them play games and get to be kids, I will miss bedtime in girls and telling them that I love them, I will miss family dinners with 17 people around the dinner table, I will miss those small glimpses of hope that I see in each of them.

5. The beautiful view: I just love seeing those mountains! They are incredible.

It is going to be super hard to leave this place, my friends, the kids, etc. I am so thankful for the time I had here to learn about Jesus, myself, loving others well, challenging others, being open with people, and so so much more.

Thank you guys so much for your support of me over the past year! Please don’t stop once I leave here! Please continue to pray that I can carry this “heaven” with me and remember all I have learned here. Please pray that I can love others well in SC, that I can find a group of friends similar to here, and that I can continue to be pushed towards Christ and not get comfortable in my pursuit of Him.

One thing that makes this easier is that I get to see this man in 2 days! no more video chatting! Praise the Lord!

Mother’s Daughter

2011-05-08T13:01:00.001-04:00

Working at the DHP has taught me a lot, one of the most important being how important family is and the huge impact and influence it has on a person.

I can honestly say that is the truth. Almost daily I catch myself doing something just like my mama.

I use coupons now (when she sends them to me, of course)

I can’t sleep unless all the girls are home and asleep in girl’s residence.

I read people’s blogs that I barely know.

I take naps on the couch after work.

I talk on the phone in the bathroom (maybe she just does this with me? Sorry for sharing the secret…)

My car is messy.

I like to tell people what the food is that they are looking at before we eat it.

etc.

Not only did I learn these things mentioned above from my mom…she also taught me about Jesus, and others, and how those two go together.

She’s the reason I love hurting kids. She’s the reason I want pregnant teen mom’s to have diapers, and formula, and support. She’s the reason I am saddened when children are not taken care of. She’s the reason I like the “inner-city.” She’s the reason I want people to know the hope of Jesus.

because that is how she raised me. She put me first so that I would know to put others first. She took us to her work so we could see the hurting people she was helping. She entertained and cooked for all of my friends and made them feel welcome so I could learn hospitality. She gave me a safe place to live so I could feel secure. She washed all my clothes so I could feel clean and cared for. She fixed all my lunches in school so I could be nourished. She waited up for me to come home so I could know I was important to her and it mattered where I was. She took me shopping so I could feel pretty. She came to events as my school so I could feel supported. She prayed with me so I could learn to pray. She took my to church so I could learn about Jesus. She modeled Christ to me in the home so I could learn how to model Christ to others.

I am thankful for my mom today and the woman she is and the way she constantly pours herself out for her kids.

It amazes me when the residents never hear from their mom. I have met around 6-7 of the 40+ residents that have lived at the DHP since I started working her. 6 or 7 out of 40? And of those 6-7, I have only seen them 1 or 2 times at the house. They just don’t care, and it breaks my heart. No wonder these kids live at the DHP. I cannot imagine what it is like to be one of the residents. I know if I have a bad day or need to cry, talk, complain, vent, anything…I can call my mom and she is guaranteed to answer, with a smile, ready to talk regardless of what she has going on. I have seen kids call and call and call their moms with no answer.

I wish they all could have my mom.

I could write so much more about my mom and the way she loves the kids at the DHP because I love them, the way she continues to support me and help me financially, the way she loves her grandkids so much, the way she gets excited every year for our beach trip because we will all be together, the way she cooks and cook and cooks for Christmas so we can relax and feel cared for, the way she still tells me every time we talk that she is praying for me, the way she….

Thanks for loving me so well Mama! I love you!

Hoppy Easter!

2011-05-01T17:20:00.000-04:00

Easter is a special time here at the DHP as well as for believers everywhere.

It’s the day we celebrate the resurrection of our Savior.

It was a really cool experience to get to celebrate Easter with the residents. It was hard to be away from my family and Allan, but I am so thankful that I got to spend it with my DHP family. They are just such special people and have such a special place in my heart.

Isn’t Bella just adorable?

Before Easter dinner, we had an Easter service where we sang some songs and then Kevin, Bella, and Grace (Kevin’s daughter) shared the story of Jesus’s death and resurrection with us. It was just precious to see little Bella hold up the different props as Grace told about Jesus dying and raising again for our sins! They told the story just the way I was taught as a little girl..with the props inside the eggs inside the egg carton. I loved it!

After the service, we had a good ole fashion Easter egg hunt!!

It was so hilarious to see these 17, 18, 19 year old “hard core” kids running around the yard looking for brightly colored eggs!

I’m grateful for the sacrifice the Jesus made for us. I am grateful for the chance I have to share that with these kids. I am thankful that Easter is more than just bunnies, eggs, and candy. I am thankful that I was justified by his blood.

The Monday after Easter, my friend Lauren shared a devotion out of Romans 5, talking about the freedom we have because of Jesus. I think you should go read it right now. It’s a great reminder.

I hope everyone had a great Easter and really was able to think back on what Easter really means! May we live in that daily!

Joyfully Joutfitted

2011-04-30T16:52:00.000-04:00

I just cannot say it enough…I love the people I work with! They are so much fun!

Last Friday we decided to take a trip to Cripple Creek, an old mining town that is now known for its gambling and casinos! I have never gambled before and thought it would be a fun thing to do with my friends before leaving CO!

Of course though, everything is more fun with costumes!!

So before we left, we all headed to the local Arc (similar to Goodwill) and look for the best JOUTFITS we could find. In case you don’t know what a joutfit is…it is an outfit made completely of jean material.

Man, did we find some good stuff. I really cannot believe that these clothes were actually made, actually worn by people before!

We’re a good looking family huh?

Just look at those jumpers, that jouncho (jean pouncho), my dress? Seriously? We look good.

Before heading up to Cripple Creek, we stopped by (of course) Chick-fil-a for dinner. People couldn’t stop starring. It was hilarious!

We finally made it to Cripple Creek’s casinos!! We fit right in there (not!). It was not at all what I expected! It was a lot of fun though! I can see how gambling gets addicting! I played a few slot machines and watched Nik play a table game. I ended up only losing about $12. I thought that was pretty good for a night of super fun!

As we were getting into my car, which I happened to park in front of a local bar, we heard what sounded like karaoke. Well, we were right! and we had no choice except to go inside and participate! There would be no better way to end the evening!

There were approximately 30 people in the bar, mostly locals, a baby, a few guys dressed in pastel polos, and Jesse’s twin. We were the only ones in joutfits, duh. and everyone stared.

We chose to sing “Sweet Home Colorado.”

I’ll let you enjoy the performance for yourself.

Eggs-tra special eggs

2011-04-29T16:13:00.000-04:00

For the family night before Easter, we took the chance to decorate eggs!

I kinda thought the kids would hate doing this and complain the whole time, but that wasn’t the case at all. They actually really got into the competition of making your egg look like a staff member. It was really funny to see the results.

I personally think that I should have won, but they said a kid had to win. Oh well!

It was really fun to get to watch the kids be just that, kids. I really loved sitting with them as they played with the different colors, put stickers on their eggs, and laugh.

It’s moments like those that I will carry with me as I leave the DHP. Moments of sweet tenderness of sharing life with these kids.

Foot Hockey

2011-04-28T15:51:00.001-04:00

Oh “staff days,” how I will miss thee.

I just love being with my co-workers and doing extreme things.

Even if something isn’t extreme…you can bet that the DHP staff will somehow make it extreme.

For example, a simple game of foot hockey can lead to multiple injuries.

but man, do we have some fun. It always gets competitive and is a matter of life or death. I am happy to announce that I had a couple assists and my team won 2 or the 4 games haha.

Seeds

2011-04-27T11:19:00.001-04:00

This past week, Nik, my friend and co-worker did his devotion on Matthew 13:3-8, where the famer is sowing seeds and they are landing on all sorts of ground: rocks, paths where birds ate up the seeds, in dirt scorched by the sun, among thorns, and good soil.

He used this scripture as a basis to demonstrate that we are just like our kids. We just happen to have grown up differently, so our “plant” looks a little different. He was emphasizing that it is not “us” versus “them” but that we are all the same and had our “path” been a little different, we could have been a different plant, or not even have been a plant, but choked out by rape, hunger, abuse, or scorched by neglect, cold, drugs.

I had never really heard that spin on it, but I liked it.

George had a great quote that I thought really helped summarize what Nik was trying to say.

“We’re all beggars just trying to show the other beggars where the bread is.”

Isn’t that a beautiful reminder for us as believers? We are beggars made rich in Christ!!

I also just finished reading Jesus for President by Shane Claiborne. It’s a pretty radical book, but one of those ones that gives me the goose-bumps and challenges me in some unreal ways. (more blogs on this later hopefully)

He had a section in this book about this parable as well. I really loved what he said about it too.

He quotes a German theologian who says “In [Jesus’s] seed parable, he depicts not only the unstoppable growth of the reign of God, but also the frightening smallness and hiddenness of its beginning: still more, he describes the superior power of the opponents who threaten the work of God from beginning to end.” (like the lives these resident’s have)

He goes on to explain that the power of God is not like a violent, quick revolution that takes over power, but rather it starts small (like a seed), grows silently, faces setbacks (sun, birds, rocky soil, abusive parents, drugs, sex exploitation, jail) but nevertheless permeates the world with love.

Claiborne highlights that this parable is also to encourage people of the Lord to continue sowing seeds. “Sow it everywhere, even when Herod cuts it down, and even when the world’s riches try to choke it. You never know when it will spring up and make great fruit.”

Man. If that isn’t challenging. It’s just not natural for us. We (well, I) face defeat and want to quit. I am quick to give up a hope for change. I am quick to become lazy. I am quick to quit. But no! I need to continue to sow that seed and permeate the world with love.

9 Month Update

2011-04-23T14:54:00.001-04:00

These updates seem to get harder to write with each month’s passing.

I don’t know if it is because I don’t want to face the fact that my year here is almost finished, if I have just gotten used to being here, if I am taking less pictures, forgetting more and having a hard time separating the months, or if I am just lazier. Maybe it is a combination!

Well, this past month has been filled with a lot of fun and also a lot of sadness. I’ll talk about the good first

My birthday!

I think this is the first year that I have actually “worked” on my birthday. I take that as a true sign of adulthood. It was a really great birthday too and I am glad I got to celebrate with the residents and my co-workers. I woke up to a breakfast of my favorite foods from Stephanie, a beautiful birthday banner and a visit from this little guy! You may remember him from here or here. (Ignore how sleepy I look, it had been a long night before, but more on that later)

Then Steph and Kallie surprised me with these incredible and forever to be treasured books. My love language is words and they so kindly put together a book of notes and letters from people I love and care about…one from the residents and my friends here at the Dale House, and another with notes from my friends back home! It was so sweet and thoughtful! I absolutely love it!

<----My primary, S, then surprised me with this beautiful flower arrangement that she had designed! It was so special to have something from her that she had worked on for me!

Allan then threw in a HUGE surprise! ---->

I am so excited to go!

Bowling!

Now, I am not a bowler, which is why I am using this time to brag about my one good roll in all of my 24 years! I got a strike! It really was a highlight of the month!

Timber!

Now, let me paint you the scene. It is April 2nd around 11:30. All the girls, except for my primary, S, are in girl’s residence sleeping. The wind is howling. There is a huge banging noise because a tree keeps slamming against the house. The vent slats keep knocking, and I cannot sleep because it is so scary (and I am like my mother and since my primary wasn’t home, I wasn’t sleeping). My primary was supposed to get off work at 11pm. She called and said she had to stay a little later and could get a ride home. At 1 am, she was still not home, the wind was still brutal, and I was still not sleeping. I decided to call her work. I wasn’t expecting them to answer, but they did and her boss told me she had been done working for a while but was waiting on her ride. I asked to speak to S, and she said she would be leaving in 10 minutes. That would mean she would get home at 1:30. I said okay and tried to close my eyes and rest until she got home.

Well at 2 am I woke up to a terrible BANG. The floor shook and scared me and Stephanie to death.

I got a text message from a resident living in the transition apartments (which are above girl’s residence) that informed me what the unknown BANG was…a HUGE tree that really could have done some damage.He was texting me to make sure we were all alright. Isn’t that nice? The Lord was really watching out for us here. See that little porch? That’s girl’s residence. See the two windows? That is where one girl sleeps. Seriously protection. Thank you Jesus!

The only damage done to the house was this little corner! WOW!

After calming back down a little bit, I then realized that S still wasn’t home. Oh man.

I called her work again to find out that she had left a little bit ago. Around 3 a.m. she finally arrived home. I was so mad, worried, and frustrated but most of all I was just relieved that she was okay and home finally. We’d have a lot to talk about the next day!

The Run-away

One of the hardest parts of working at the DHP is that you invest your life and love into these kids. You really see potential in them and frustration grows out of them not being able to realize their worth and value in the sight of the Lord.

That is how I felt with my primary, S. (the same one as above). She is so fantastic. She is talented and kind.

She also has a terrible life, a struggle with alcohol, sex, and other battles everyday in her mind.

She decided she didn’t want to fight them anymore.

Two Sunday nights ago I got a text message from her mentor asking if I knew what was up with S. I had been sick all weekend with strep throat so I hadn’t really talked to anyone about any of the residents.

I thought she was doing good though. The week before, we had talked about what she was struggling with and how we could help her. She seemed to be doing better, being honest, and admitting she was struggling…all signs of improvement.

Well, I was wrong.

Later that night, I found out that S had just had enough. She left the house before family night dinner.

I didn’t get to say good-bye. I didn’t get to try to talk her into staying. I didn’t get to tell her that I loved her and didn’t want her to make these decisions. I didn’t get to tell her she was worth more than drugs, alcohol, boys, and these other things that she is a slave too.

I miss her a lot. It’s hard to invest in a kid and then see them leave. She is so fantastic. She is a child of God. I pray I get to see her before I leave the Springs. Please keep her in your thoughts. Pray that she is safe. Pray that she knows she is loved. Pray that she can discover her value and the love of God.

Changes

Last week in Core meeting, we got BIG news. The biggest in 15 years.

One of the most amazingly talented, kind, wonderfully wise permanent staff members is leaving and taking a job at the military base here in the Springs.

She wept as she told us. The training staff was silent. The room really felt stiff.

I was just so shocked. My first thoughts were just complete amazement and disbelief.

How could the DHP go on without her? She helps us out so much here! She really knows the answers to everything and is just so wise and loving in her interactions with the residents. My brother then reminded me that the Lord is in control. He knew this was coming and he has a plan for the DHP. It was a good reminder for me. The DHP is not George’s place, or Kevin’s place or Anne’s place (or other permanent staff’s place). It is THE LORD’s PLACE. I really do feel like this place is a sanctuary for the Lord and He has special concern for it.

It is hard for me to trust Him in situation’s like these, but I know he is faithful.

I am so grateful that I got to work under this amazing woman. I have learned so much and feel like I could watch her and learn for her for years and years. She is talented, blessed, and awesome.

She will be missed.

The Final Month

As I start this last month, I ask for continued prayer:

-that I won’t get lazy and I can finish strong here

-for really holy times with the residents for me to show them how much they mean to me and how they have changed my life.

-for really rich times with my friends here and that we can enjoy each other’s company well

I CANNOT believe how fast this year has gone. I still have so much to learn!!! It is just really amazing to think back to how I got here, how the Lord really provided this year for me, how he has challenged me, grown me, encouraged me, blessed me.

Oh I wish each of you could come here and meet my DHP family.

I leave you with this verse to encourage both you and me in this last month!

Vindicate the weak and fatherless; Do justice to the afflicted and
destitute. Rescue the weak and needy; Deliver them out of the hand of the wicked.
—Psalm 82:3-4

A Challenge

2011-04-19T16:33:00.001-04:00

George often recounts a story he heard from a time he saw Henri Nouwen speak before he died. (JEALOUS)

Nouwen asked :

“What do you think it is that God is going to ask you at the pearly gates when you die?

Will it be how many cars did you have? What church did you go to? Were you president of your company?

No, it won’t be these questions.

Rather, God will ask ‘What did you do for the least of these?’”

That’s such a challenge for me, especially as I prepare to leave the Dale House, where I live in the midst of “the least.” It’s easy to do something to help when it’s my job, but how can I continue to actively, with my life, do something for “the least” as I leave this job? I am fearful I will become lazy and not seek out injustices or those who need love the most. It will be so easy for me to form a new, easy, simple life, full of school work, Allan, making new friends, getting used to living in a new place, etc., etc.. but I don’t want that to happen. I want my life to be full in the way Christ intended it to be full, and for me, that means seeking out and working with the hurting. I don’t want to forget that.

I truly hope that I will not ever be “comfortable” in my life. That doesn’t mean that I hope discomfort on myself, but it does meant that I hope that I am always bothered by the injustice in our world and pushed to do something to help. I hope that I don’t get comfortable in a middle class lifestyle and forget that there are hungry, cold, lonely kids out there just begging to be loved.

It’s hard in our world to do that, especially for me. It is not what we are taught and it is hard for me to fight the battle against desiring money, beauty, cool gadgets, nice clothes, etc. It will be a fight for me to remember that question, but I hope when I meet Jesus that I can honestly stand in front of him, unashamed and tell him that I did love the least, that I bought him chic-fil-a when he was hungry, that I gave him a coke when he was thirsty, and a shirt when he was naked. I hope I can say that I bought him ice cream on a hot day and played cards with him when he was bored.

That’s the challenge for me, and I think it’s the challenge for all of us too.

SUPER COOL!

2011-04-15T10:37:00.001-04:00

I just had to tell you guys some exciting news and how awesome the Lord is!!

Yesterday morning, I was primary-less (meaning I had no kids that I worked one-on-one with)

Yesterday afternoon, I all of a sudden had 2 new primaries!

One is a boy, and one is a girl.

I haven’t met the girl yet, but…

GUESS WHAT?

The boy is from El Salvador! He barely speaks English and is here in the USA completely alone! I am just so thrilled to get to be his primary and speak Spanish! El Salvador is one of the C-4 countries (Honduras is too!) so I am actually finding some similarities in his El Salvador culture and Honduras!

I have really missed speaking Spanish and being with Hispanic people and I think it is just so cool how the Lord is allowing me to have so many things that I love together in this one boy!!

YAY!

Its Not Fair

2011-04-14T19:37:00.001-04:00

I have been thinking a lot recently about just how not fair life is, especially for these kids that I have come to know and love.

It’s not fair that they live in a group home without two parents that love and care for them.

It’s not fair that they have to “sign out” every time they leave home (I can’t imagine having to sign out at my house! I understand the reasoning here and realize how important it is here, but it’s definitely not natural)

It’s not fair that they have no one to support them financially, besides themselves, when they are only 17/18 years old.

It’s not fair that they have experienced abuse and neglect by their own mothers and fathers.

It’s not fair that a majority of the residents cannot think of one reference to put on job applications that they have known for more than a year.

It’s not fair that it is so hard for our kids to make positive influencing friends.

It’s not fair that they didn’t have someone taking them to McDonald’s after school for a special treat when they were little.

It’s not fair that fighting the urge to use drugs and alcohol with be a fight for the rest of their lives.

It’s not fair that every good influence in these kid’s lives is paid to be there.

It’s not fair that they don’t know how to accept love.

It’s not fair that they want to sleep with music each night so they are distracted from their own thoughts.

It’s not fair that they grew up in chaos.

I could go on and on with a list of things that are just not fair in these kids lives. However, I so often forget these things in my interactions with the kids and in my frustrations with the kids. I forget the pain and heartache they have experienced in their young lives. I get angry. I want them to be quiet, do what they need to do, just do right! Easy enough, right?

I struggle with the fact that I cannot change these kids or make them do the right things. I have seen numerous friends make bad decisions and go back to jail. I have seen them say “I want to do better…I will do better…BLAH BLAH BLAH” then end up back in jail. I get so angry with these decisions that seem so simple to me. I want to just scream at the kid and give up hope.

I was journaling the other day, confessing to Jesus my failures of spending time with him. I was writing that every time I begin a journal entry it is always the same: “it’s been way too long since I have written in here…I want to do better…I will do better…BLAH BLAH BLAH.”

As I was writing that, I was made aware that I am just like these kids!! I even say the same things and then fall right back onto my face!

I was then reminded of the oh-so-popular prodigal son. Jesus doesn’t want to change me. He doesn’t want to scream at me. Jesus doesn’t care how often I write in my journal, he doesn’t care how many times I apologize, he doesn’t care that I say one thing and don’t do it.

All he cares about is that I know my home in him and am running towards it. Be it every day or once a month, He is eagerly awaiting with open, loving arms of forgiveness and grace.

That’s how I need to be with the kids—a person with open arms, accepting them back lovingly. They are going to make mistakes, just like me, but I need to show them the grace of Jesus when they do.

They have lived a life of unfairness. If I cannot show them the grace, love, forgiveness, and acceptance of Christ, then I am yet just another unfair part of their life.

Fancy Feast

2011-04-11T14:12:00.000-04:00

It’s pretty obvious that our residents at the Dale House don’t really live the “normal” life. They don’t go to “regular” public schools, they don’t drive, they can’t have cell phones until they have a certain amount of money, they have 15 brothers and sisters, they have 10 “mothers” and “fathers”, etc. etc. etc.

Another thing that is not “normal” for our residents is dressing up. Many of them don’t even know what “dress up” means and have never even had to think about this before coming to the Dale House and being forced to dress up to look for jobs.

I don’t know about you, but I love getting dressed up. It might be a girl thing, but I think that looking good helps people feel good about themselves. That is one reason this year’s Dale House Spring Banquet was so fun! I could really tell the residents were proud of how they looked and excited to be invited to a “social function!”

The DHP Spring Banquet is the closest thing we have to prom.

People got fancy…

…We had flowers for the girls, boutonnieres for the boys…

My Primary, S, helped to make the boutonnieres!! They were gorgeous and I was amazed at her talent! Someone needs to hire this girl for floral design!!

…We had hors d'œuvres… we took pictures….we had a steak dinner with waiters serving our tables (we decorated the garage beautifully!!)… we ate sorbet to cleanse our palettes, we used correct table manners, we had cheesecake!

…and then we danced!!

I got to teach my recently emancipated primary, G, how to dance! It was such a precious moment! He came straight from work smelling like horses (he works at a stable) but he wanted to be a part of this evening!! We did a little bit of shagging and a little box step! (Thanks Sunny Yu!) He then used what I taught him (with a little coaching from the side!) to dance with his girlfriend!

This, by far, has been one of my favorite nights at the DHP. It was just so beautiful to watch the kids be kids. To be themselves. To feel like they are someone.

Those are the moments I will miss. When I am not a staff person and they are not a resident, but we are just friends, dancing on the dance floor, laughing, doing “normal” things, together.

Visitors from the East

2011-04-10T12:32:00.001-04:00

I was so excited when my great friend and college roommate, Brittany, called me in January to tell me she was coming to CO for a work trip!

Her and my other high school/college friend, Peanut, got to come visit for a whole week! Granted, they and I were working during that week, but our schedules seemed to line up perfectly and we got to do a lot of activities!

Garden of the Gods!

Palmer Park at night!!

Sitting on I-70 for 40 minutes!

Skiing A-Basin!

(finally! after waiting in traffic, someone forgetting their ski pants, and putting on the wrong boots!! )

“Illegally” hiking the Incline!

I really loved having them here! They were great guests and fun to introduce to my co-workers and friends!! They even helped take pictures and participated in the Dale House Spring Banquet (next post)!! It was also fun to have them here to get to show off this beautiful place I live!!

Spring Break!

2011-03-29T11:01:00.001-04:00

Two weeks ago, I got to travel home to the East Coast for a week! I flew into Charleston for Allan’s sister’s wedding and then we drove up to the dash to visit my family!! I love being at home and just feel so blessed to have the family I have. Enjoy a few pictures from my trip!

Sorry, I’m slightly obsessed with my niece and nephew!

PAROLE PARTY!

2011-03-28T12:46:00.001-04:00

I feel like a proud parent.

My first-born primary emancipated!!

Ok, I know I am not really his mom, but I still all warm and fuzzy with seeing my primary pass parole!

He worked so hard here at the Dale House Project and really was one of the greatest residents I have met. (Maybe I am partial?) He did everything he needed to do plus more!! He was relational. He was honest. He asked for help. He listened. He was vulnerable. He apologized. He laughed with us. He was just so fun to have around the DHP.

and that’s what I heard all night long as people celebrated G at his emancipation dinner.

When a kid paroles at the DHP, we celebrate. They pick out what meal they want to eat, we give them presents, we decorate, and then we each take time to share with them memories, encouragement, and what we will miss about them being around.

Jesse, my co-worker, rockin’ a Tee with G’s picture on it! G loved these shirts!

G had TONS of people at his emancipation dinner, which I think is just a reflection of who he is and the way he has handled himself here.

I held myself together pretty well, but I have to admit that I shed a few tears. I am just so proud of him and how he has really taken charge of his life and realized he is worth more than being addicted to drugs his whole life. I told him that he is the poster child of why I wanted to work at the DHP.

I wanted to see people overcome addictions: he did.

I wanted to see people realize their potential: he did (and still is).

I wanted to see people prove statistics wrong: he did.

I wanted to see people work hard and change their life: he did (and still is).

I wanted to be a part of God’s work in people: he is God’s work.

It was such a cool thing to get to sit with G in front of the parole board and hear him re-count his life, where his mind-set was when he was getting into trouble, and then hear him talk about where he is now and where he wants to go. He did such a great job. He was nervous, but he was just himself, and totally impressed the parole board with how far he has come!

You should have seen the smile on G’s face when they handed him this paper!

It was crazy! Just like that, he was on parole and done with the DHP! He has 6 months of parole and then he will be completely off papers! He has his own apartment now too! Man! I am so excited for him!

I am excited for him to be different than his mother and sisters. I am excited for him to feel good about himself in a healthy way. I am excited that he is providing for himself. I am excited that he is excited about where he is in life.

Pleasssssse pray for G! It has got to be so so so hard to all of a sudden be on your own, paying all your bills, working full time, without a car, without a family to fall back on, fighting a past of addictions. It won’t be easy for him to always make the right decision because right decisions are sometimes harder to do. Please pray that he can know the hope of the Lord. Please pray for our friendship to continue. Please pray he can remember that he is loved and created to have a full life!

nICE roommates!

2011-03-27T15:07:00.001-04:00

I came home the other day and Kallie told me there was a surprise for me in the freezer.

I opened it and….

YES! A huge bag of sonic ice! Can you believe that?

That is true love!

and so thoughtful!!

She really knows how to speak to my heart : )

I am so thankful for my awesome roommates. Not just because they are thoughtful but because they are truly gifts from God. They are encouraging. They are loving. They are fun! Its so a blessing to get to live with them, work with them, and share life! They will truly be one of the things I miss the most about the DHP!

7 & 8 Months!

2011-03-19T16:14:00.001-04:00

My little primary family getting ice cream!

Time just goes by so quickly! I sat down today to do the 7th month update and realized it was time for the 8 month!! So, blog readers, I am skipping my promised 7 month update and turning it into a 7 and 8 month update! Sorry!

It’s always so hard for me to know what to write! SO MUCH HAPPENS in a month, and almost none of it “normal!” So in order to try to convey my past 2 months, I leave you with some stories! They are in different fonts to help you separate them!

I’m not going to lie. I was afraid of one of my primaries. I felt like I was constantly walking on egg-shells. Was she going to be nice to me? or was she going to tell me to F-off? Was she going to willingly go to her dentist appointment or was she going to yell at me in the waiting room? I just never knew! When she was happy…she was happy!!! When she wasn’t…watch out! I spent almost every day being worried about how “Susie” would respond to me on a daily basis. I knew that the way she responded to me was not because of me, but her past, etc. but it still was warring on my mind! We spent many nights trying to convince Susie not to run away from the DHP. We loved her. We wanted her there. After much discussion, she would normally return, apologize, cry, and we would hug and move on. The same thing may happen the next night, or the next night but it was just an endless cycle it seemed. The cycle seemed to get worse too. Susie was dealing with a lot of issues from her past and it was just taking a toll on her mind. She couldn’t get control. She was honest about feeling out of her mind crazy.

I got word on our winter camping trip that Susie had run away. For good. She packed a bag, asked for her money, and ran. She didn’t take her medications with her though. Big problem due to the amount and type of medications she was on. Everyone was worried about her and the side-effects she might experience from suddenly stopping such strong medications. We tried to get the police involved to help find her, but they couldn’t do anything about it. Six days after Susie left, we get a call from Susie asking to come back. She returns and is taken to a local mental hospital for evaluation where she is put on a 72 hour hold.

I had never visited a mental hospital. I hope I never have to visit again. It was just such a sterile, sad place. I could almost physically feel the pain of the kids on Susie’s hall. Visiting Susie was great though, probably the best time we ever had together. She was honest. She was calm. She was vulnerable. She was apologetic. She was hopeful.

Unfortunately, we had run out of options for her at the DHP and other placements were being looked at for her to go to once she was discharged. When Susie learned of this, she was devastated. She cried and cried every time I visited her. She wrote letters of apology, asking to come back. “The Dale House is my home. I’ve never had a family and the Dale House is my family. A family isn’t blood, a family is a place where you feel loved and accepted and welcomed. I’ve never been able to sleep at night for fear of being hurt in my sleep. This is the first time I can do that.” Just honest, gut-wrenching truths from Susie.

After a lot of discussion, it was decided that the Dale House is the best place for Susie. We can offer her that love she never has had. We have Jesus on our side and have him to fill us up when she is warring us down. We can offer her a safe place to sleep without fear of harm. We can forgive her. We can push her and challenge her to work through her past and love herself. We can hug her when she feels out of control. We can do all those things only because Christ is our strength. Trust me. Without Him, I would have quit a long time ago!

Susie is back and doing well. She hasn’t yelled at anyone since she has been back. She wakes herself up in the mornings (not once did she do this since October!!). She is such a joy. She is an encouragement to me and a reminder of the prodigal son.

At the end of January, I took on a third primary, “Sarah".” I was soooo excited! Sarah is awesome. She is so polite and works hard and just a true example of resilience. Well about 3 weeks ago, we started to notice that Sarah was struggling. She wasn’t acting like herself and something was just off-kilter.

Last Friday, I got a call from Stephanie Pitt saying that Sarah had left the house (my primaries always seemed to be running away!) but asked for some time to clear her head. Steph granted that but told her to be back by 9:30pm. At 10:00 I received a phone call from Sarah. “Can you come pick me up?” “I’m at the Wendy’s on such and such roads.” Sure, I said. and left right away (the such and such roads are a 20 minute drive from the DHP! How she got there is still a mystery!). Upon arrival, Sarah was no where to be found. I waited around a while, but then decided to drive back home.

I arrived back at the DHP at 11:00 and walked over to girl’s residence since it was time for bed. I opened the door and found Sarah on the floor crying and Stephanie on the phone with 911. Turns out she had gotten in the car with a stranger who offered her a ride home on the cold night. He had taken advantage of her. The police came, the EMT came, and Sarah and I headed to the ER for the night.

It was a crazy experience to be there with her. Just to be a part of the terribleness that is sexual assault. I never, in a million years, thought I would have to sit at the hospital with someone because of that. As we sat there, the police asked if anyone else should be notified. I said no. He looked at me strangely and said “not a mother…?” and I said “no. She has no mother.” It really did break my heart that I, a person who has known Sarah for 3 months was the one to be there with her. I was glad I could be there, but dang. No mother…no family...no one to notify except a client manager.

“Do justly, love mercy, walk humbly with your God.”

I love to volunteer to go pick up a kid from work. Not only does this mean a small break from the chaos of the house, it also means a chance to be alone and one-on-one with a kid. Those are the moments I really love because I get the chance to see the kid be him or her self, not a circus clown showing off for the other residents.

This particular night, I volunteered to go get “Lauren.” Lauren is an awesome resident. She is 19 years old, grew up in a fairly normal adopted family, but was born to a drug mom. She now suffers from all sorts of mental health problems because of this.

When Lauren got in the car, I could tell she just wanted to talk. She immediately started the conversation by saying we would be proud of her for the decisions she made that day. I congratulated her and asked more about the situation. This conversation only led to her just opening her heart. I didn’t have to prod or poke. She just wanted to talk and have someone listen to her. We got back to the DHP in less than 10 minutes, but we sat in the car for the next hour and a half just talking. She talked about her frustrations with being in the system, she talked about frustrations of her friends making bad decisions. She talked about her family, her brother, her mom. She talked about her fear of emancipating in June. She talked about allllll sorts of things. and I got to listen. It was so cool. She really trusted me with her heart, with her struggles, with her thoughts.

We finally got out of the car because it was time for last smoke. Later that night, Lauren came to lie on the bed with Stephanie and I (where we sleep when we “sleep down”). She just said she was in a bad mood and knew we could cheer her up.

That may not sound like much, but to me, it shows she knows she is loved and cared for by us. That’s one of the best things I could ask for!

Last night, I received a text message from my primary “Tom.” Tom is also very awesome. He is the hardest working resident in the house. He wakes himself up every day to go shovel horse poop. Not once did he complain when the weather was –13 and he as still working outside. Nope. He knows what he has to do to “make it.” He is determined to stay off drugs and not end up like the rest of his family.

Anyways, Tom and I had planned to go get some dinner since it was going to be one of the last nights we could do so before he emancipates. The text message I received said “I’m not going.” I was super confused. We had talked only 30 minutes before and plans were set. I texted him back and he replied with “You’re just like I thought you were. You say your my friend, but you’re just staff.”

dagger.

I was so shocked by that! Tom and I have a great relationship, so I was just so confused. I went up to Tom’s apartment to try to talk to him about what was going on and I was met with anger and yelling. He just wanted me out. I couldn’t fix the problem, so I did what he asked, and left.

I told my team leader about what had happened. He was also blown away by Tom’s words because he is aware of the type of relationship Tom and I have. He decided he wanted to try to talk to him before he was allowed to sign out to go anywhere.

After their talk, I got a message. “I’m sorry Abby. Can we still go?”

Of course.

As soon as we got into the car, there was that awkward silence. Who is going to say something? I was racking my brain and nothing was coming to my mouth!! Thankfully Tom spoke.

“I’ve just always gotten the sh** end f the stick. All my life I’ve be f-ed over. So I’ve learned that when people get close to me, instead of getting the sh** end of the stick from them, I wanna give them the sh** end of the stick first.”

He proceeded to tell me, (through choking back tears!! It was so preciously sad! I’ve only seen him tear up like that once before! Pretty amazing because he’s a 6’5’’ dude who’s been to jail) that I have been the closest thing to mom that he has had. The people who were supposed to be his mom (bio and adopted) don’t love him. He is scared to be alone and out of the system he said. He said he doesn’t have anyone to fall back on if he messes up.

It took all I had to not just break out in a full-blown cry. Tom doesn’t deserve what he had been through. He doesn’t deserve to say that jail is his fall-back because at least he will have a warm bed and food.

It stinks that I can’t be his mom. I’ve known him for 8 months. He’s 19. I’m 23. I’m moving away. He’s staying here.

It stinks even worse that he thinks I’m the closest mom he has had.

I got to pray with Tom that night. I couldn’t hold back the tears then. I prayed for him to know that he can fall-back on Jesus. I prayed for him to not give up hope. I prayed for him to know he is loved and special. I prayer for him to know the truth.

I am just continuously grateful for my experience here at the Dale House. I’m not going to lie, it is hard a lot. A lot of times I dread going to work just because of the unknown. What is today going to look like? Will it be good quality time with the residents or am I going to argue with them? Am I going to get cussed out today? (surprisingly, this is starting to bother me less and less! I don’t know if that is a good thing!) Is something just crazy going to happen? Why can’t the residents just understand we love them and why can’t they make the good decision?

Those are just some of the thoughts that run through my head.

But then there are the thoughts about injustice and how, honestly, I don’t think I could have survived past the age of 10 if I grew up like these kids. It is one of the most angering things to me to think about all the crap each one of these kids has been through, especially when they were just little babies, unable to talk, walk, do anything for themselves. There are those conversations with residents that reveal their hearts, reveal their desire to just be kids. There are those times of laughter. There are those times of love.

I know the next 2 and a half months are going to FLY by! Thank you all for your continued support and love!

I leave you with one more picture since there were so many words on this post!

GO HEELS!

Not created for this

2011-03-08T18:42:00.001-05:00

I just had to do one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

Working at the Dale House provides a chance to experience all sorts of things. My life here is actually crazy. I never envisioned I would be hanging out with the kids I am hanging out with and getting to know them as the people they are…not as criminals, which our society has deemed them. I never envisioned that I would share life with kids who have been neglected, abused, sold, hurt, criticized, abandoned. I never envisioned that I would get the chance to love them and show them they are worth more than their past.

I also never envisioned I would have to take a kid back to jail to help them realize that worth.

but I did.

and gosh, was it hard.

My primary, “Ashley” had just been spiraling down. She is the sweetest resident. She is so polite. I love this girl. She is awesome. But she was making bad decisions which were causing her to just keep spiraling down and down.

This weekend, she snuck out of the house after lights-out and got caught.

I went with Matt, a team-leader to her work to let her know that she was being terminated from the DHP.

She didn’t run. She didn’t yell. She didn’t resist. She just simply asked…”for good?”

As we were driving to Spring Creek (the jail), Matt asked her why she asked us “for good?”

She replied that it is because she doesn’t want to leave the DHP. She knows she has more potential than she has been displaying. She knows she can make better decisions.

It hurt me so much to leave her at the jail. I couldn’t hug her. I couldn’t rescue her from that place. I simply had to watch them take her belongings, search her body, and give her a green jumpsuit.

I cried as I was leaving out of frustration—not with her—but with what she has had to deal with in her life. What if she had grown up in a loving family? What if she had a mother that wanted the best for her? What if she was shown her value at a young age?

My mind is racing right now. How blessed am I? Why am I am lucky to have the life I have, especially when so many of the world are suffering? Why am I not in jail? Why am I free? It’s not fair.

She was not created to live in a jail. Not this girl. Not anyone. I just so badly wish I could make her realize this. I hope and pray that, even as she sits in jail, that she knows she is loved…by me, yeah, but more importantly, by Jesus. I hope she can get a glimpse of how awesome she is in his sight.

I really hope Ashley gets to come back to the DHP. I really hope I can love on her while she is at SC too through visiting her. I hope that her time at SC helps refocus her, helps her to realize that she was not making wise decisions, and helps her realize there is more out there for her than where she was headed. Our world offers such empty solutions to pain. They are easy and quick fixes, but oh so short lived and they make me so angry!

As we pulled into the parking lot of the jail, Ashley said a silent prayer and then did the sign of the cross across her shoulders. She knows the Lord is with her and that’s what she was created for.

Into the Wild

2011-03-08T15:38:00.001-05:00

WARNING: Picture heavy post!!

I have mentioned this before, (probably more than once!) but one thing I love about working at the DHP is the way they take care of us. The DHP is all about community and supporting each other, and it’s just fantastic. It’s been such a blessing to get to experience a community like this. I truly believe it is a glimpse of Heaven!

Just recently, the entire staff got to drive up to the beautiful Frontier Ranch (a young life camp) for a week of winter camping. All I really knew before we left was that we would spend two nights solo camping. In the woods. In a tent. In the snow. and did I mention alone??

Anyways…we loaded up the car…

…and arrived at this beautiful adult lodge!

With this beautiful view. Yea. It’s amazing.

The next morning, we drove up to St. Elmo, a ghost town, to go snow shoeing.

THERE WAS SO MUCH SNOW!

But we strapped on our snowshoes and headed out through the woods.

We happened upon a tree with DALE carved in it. Cool huh?

and we just kept walking…and walking…and walking. It really was peaceful to walk through the snow covered woods. It was so quiet and clean and beautiful with the fresh powder.

Then we had to climb a HUGE hill. It was tough because of the super deep snow and the incline! But we all pulled together and helped each other make it to the top!

Day 3 of winter camping was “group camp night.” Thanks to Kevin and George for letting us have a practice round of camping with everyone before putting us out in the wilderness alone!

It appears that we are all reallllllly excited about this!

I think we all got pretty good air for having those packs on our backs!

After our photo shoot, the hike began. I was tired after about 5 minutes of walking. Those packs are HEAVY!

After about an hour we stopped for what we thought was a “lunch break.” After eating and relaxing, Kevin announced that we should find a spot to set up our tents! This was our campsite! I was sooooo happy I didn’t have to lug that pack anymore! Steph and I were sharing a tent that night, so we found the perfect spot and set it up! It was a cozy little home

After getting our tents set up, George showed us how to make a one match fire! We each got to try! It took me two matches, but I was still pretty impressed with myself! Its all about the no-bark wood and size of the stick!

Stephanie did a great job with her fire…after a while but on solo, she really did only use one match per fire! Crazy! (I used a whole box on solo and actually ran out!! Luckily George came by and brought me more!)

To help get warm, and see a beautiful view, we took a little hike up the mountain above our campsite! Little did I know that the cliff behind me is the one we would be rappelling down the next day!

After the hike, we came back and built a big fire to help keep us warm for the evening. It was cold, but it was cool to be with everyone around the camp fire. Jesse and Kevin fixed us some yummy mac and cheese, ramen noodles, bread, and hot chocolate for dinner and then we just spend the rest of the evening talking, laughing, and singing Salty Dog and KumBaYah! I really just love the people I work with! It was such a fun thing to be with them and have this experience together.

The next morning, on our hike back to the cabin, we stopped for a little rappelling DOWN A CLIFF!

Travis (pictured), Nik, and Ryan all went FACE first! You couldn’t pay me enough to have done that!

Annie was brave sitting on the edge of the rock! But look at the view! We would climb that mountain later in the week!

I was really scared scooting my way back to head down the mountain. Kevin was reassuring…kinda! The rope got stuck on the side of the mountain, and I thought Kevin was going to have to climb down to unstick me!

I was thrilled when I made it to the bottom. That’s the ultimate face of relief to be on solid ground!

The next day was the dreaded one…the start of solo camping! We hiked up to the generally same area where we group camped and were assigned to our own areas. I actually was looking forward to this time. I thought it would be a great time of reading, writing, and thinking. It actually proved to be kind of disappointing while I was out there. I found myself constantly having to gather more wood for my fire so I wouldn’t freeze or it would start snowing or I would have to go to the bathroom or gather more wood yet again! I felt like I was always gathering wood!! But my fire was pretty good! I was proud of myself! Below is a picture of my campsite!

Night time was the scariest part of the whole thing. It was just extremely quiet and the snow falling on my tent sounded like someone was walking around me. I really did feel the peace of Christ during this time however. I knew with all these mysterious sounds around me, I would never fall asleep. All I wanted to do was fall asleep so I wouldn’t realize where I was. I prayed and prayed that the Lord would calm my mind and just allow me to sleep. He really did answer that prayer. It was cool to get to experience that.

I did get more out of the solo time than I realized when I was out there. I was frustrated during my time in the woods, but being able to reflect on the time (once we came inside) allowed me to recognize the ways in which the Lord did speak to me. I also learned a lot from listening to my friends talk about their experience. Yet again, I am so blessed to be surrounded by these people!

All of our activities led us up to the final day…Climbing MT. PRINCETON!!

It was a fun hike through the snow! We stopped once we made it to the T.V. towers for a little photo op

The hike was just beautiful and not too cold! Look at the view! We could even see Pikes Peak (the mountain in the Springs) from a two hour drive away! It was so clear and awesome!

We also had to scale the mountain due to the possible threat of avalanches along the actual trail.

We made it to the top!! (well kinda)

But decided to keep going…even higher, through the wind and snow!

It was a crazy hike…but we saw one of these guys!! I wish I had his feet to climb over those rocks!

We made it to the top and Kevin told Jesse to break out the celebration! To our surprise Jesse had been carrying sparkling cider all day! So fun to pass the bottle around at the top of this beautiful mountain!

In order to get down the mountain faster, we took a path known as “Hackett Hill.” It was the craziest thing ever!! It was a cut through the woods, not on any trails, through about 5 feet of snow!! It was so hard to get through!! I ended up sliding on my butt most of the time cause my feet would just go right through the 5ft of snow! I don’t think I have ever laughed that hard either. It was hilarious trying to go down and watch Stephanie!

George reminded us while we were away that Jesus often took his disciples away, out of the ordinary, into the wilderness, into solitude to refocus and be alone with him.

Winter camping was awesome. It was more than just being together with each other. It was about being together with Christ.

I did a lot of things that I may never get the chance to do. I learned a lot about survival. I ate a lot of great food (thanks Sharon!). I stayed (most nights) in an amazingly beautiful mountain cabin. I played a lot of cards. I set up a tent by myself. I cooked myself dinner over a fire. I talked to no one for two days. I scaled down a mountain held up only by a rope. I wore the same clothes too many days in a row. I climbed a 14er. I saw a mountain goat. I slid down through lots of snow. I was encouraged by friends. I shared moments with friends. I ate with friends. I learned from George and Kevin. I spent time with people that I love so much. I got away from the normalcy of everyday life. I encountered unexpected things from Jesus.

7 MONTHS?!

2011-02-15T13:25:00.001-05:00

WOW! That’s crazy!

Its time for my update, but I don’t have time to do it

The training staff (which includes me) is headed to 11,000 feet to go winter campaing…yes, sleeping in the snow! I have never camped in a tent, much less in the snow! We will spend one night group camping and then two nights solo camping! We also will go rappelling, snow shoeing, and hiking. Wow. Its going to be intense! But fun!

I am excited to get to spend 9 days with my co-workers and friends! They are awesome people!

We’re going to have fun!

I’ll update when I return!

Mother of all Mothers

2011-02-15T13:09:00.001-05:00

I really have the best mother ever. I feel lucky that I have had the chance to grow up under her love and guidance. I really hope that I can be a mother like she is a mother. The mother of all mothers.

I have recently been made super aware of how blessed I truly am. You hear about bad dads and neglectful fathers, but it is amazing the sort of mothers my primaries have grown up with.

One’s mother did and sold drugs throughout the country as he was a child. He didn’t go to school because he was in the back of a car driving drugs from FL to CO. He was eventually adopted at age 7, but his adopted mom doesn’t come by the DHP to see him, doesn’t call to check on him, doesn’t answer his calls. His biological mom is a meth addict. She is basically homeless. She doesn’t care about him, but his money and how she can use him. He texted me the other night on his new cellphone “goodnight mom.” It breaks my heart that he says that because I am no where close to his mom, but he doesn’t have a better example.

Another one of my primaries’ mothers did all sorts of drugs during her pregnancy. Then she delivered her and hated her from the start. She sold her into prostitution around the age of 6, she would set her and her sister outside in the cold so she could have sex with men inside the house. She poisoned her with different substances and my primary still suffers enormous stomach pains due to this. He mother is still on drugs and my primary wants nothing to do with her and cannot even stand the thought of being like her mother.

My final primary is so confusing that I am not even sure much about her mother. Her parents were divorced when she was young. She doesn’t hear from her biological mother. Her adopted mother has come to see her two times in 5 months. She tells my primary that her younger brother doesn’t want to see her because he is afraid of her.

See what I mean? Its insane how blessed I am. My mother always answers my calls. She always happily takes a break to talk to me. She came to visit me even when I was in a different country. She would do anything for me…and for the people I care about, which is where the pictures come in. My mother sent me such an amazing package, with super thoughtful items for me. She also sent gifts for my roommates, the secretary, and my primaries.

She spent her time (and talents!) to sew them pillow cases with their names on them and included a note. You should have seen their faces when I gave it to them on Valentine’s Day. One girl re-read the note like it was her favorite book. I so often take these notes for granted, but they have not had a mom to write them love notes. Oh man. It made me sad for them that they have not had the chance to be showered with love from a mother, but I was also thankful that I could share my mother’s love with them.

Thanks for loving me mom, and thanks for loving those I love.

Let’s hear it for New York

2011-02-13T18:11:00.001-05:00

I received a text message while at home over Christmas from my roommate and friend, Kallie. “Hey Abby, you wanna go to NYC?”

Well, yes, but it just didn’t seem possible or reasonable to go. Instead of saying no, I told her I would think about it.

I returned to the Springs, and she asked again. “Hey Abby, wanna go to NYC? I found cheap tickets!”

I still need to think about it.

Well, I did…and…

So that was it! Kallie and I packed our bags and headed to NEW YORK!

It was such a fun time! We took a red-eye flight, arrived in the snow-covered city around 6:30 am with about 3.5 hours of sleep under our belts, Kallie navigated the subway system, arrived at my old YoungLife teammate, Lindsay’s apartment, and then hit the road touring!

We did allllll sorts of things! Kallie had a great trip planned out! We hit up a starbucks first (both of our names are spelled wrong!), then rode the ferry over to Staten Island so we could get a peek at that famous statue!

After that, we found the M&M heaven and FAO Schwarz!

Over the next few days, we visited the World Trade Center site, the Empire State building, (and pretended we were Buddy the elf and got escorted out!), Times Square, Little Italy, China Town, the financial district,…and the list goes on and on!

Check out the album for more pictures

We also got to go to two shows,which I loved! We saw Avenue Q and Chicago! Fantastic! Shows always make me want to be on Broadway! If only I knew how to dance!

NYC had recently been hit with some major snow, but we didn’t let the weather stop us! That’s a bike and a car under all that snow!

One of my favorite parts of traveling (now, this is going to sound like my father, but…) is the food! We went to so many interesting and fun restaurants!

1.Lindsay and her boyfriend took us to a place called Kati Rolls. I wish you could see the menu better. We had the option, luckily for those who can’t read, of choosing between a picture of a chicken, a picture of an egg, or a picture of a potato. There menu wasn’t fantastic, but the food sure was!

2. Café Roma: I had never tasted cannoli’s before, but I have no idea why!! These things were delicious!

3. Prosperity Dumpling: I can’t say I felt more prosperous after this experience of Chinese Dumplings, but the visit helped me learn that I never want to eat Chinese Dumplings again!

4. Panni II: Yes, specifically Panni II, not one of the other 3 that surround this restaurant. We had specific guidelines to chose the Panni II, the one on the upper right. There are 4 Panni’s, all of which have older gentlemen trying to persuade you into their Panni. We made a good choice, although I am glad I don’t have seizures! The ceiling of this restaurant was covered in 10000000’s of bright, ugly string lights!

5. The Lobster Place in Chelsea Market: Terrible smell, great soup!

6. Max Brenner (AKA CHOCOLATE HEAVEN!): This was my favorite place!! Everything was chocolate! Anything you could thing of…in chocolate! They even brought us our own mini-fire to roast the marshmallows before dipping them in chocolate fondue!

7. Kallie and I started with dessert at Bianca, then followed that with some super delicious Italian food!

8. Kallie’s brother, Ryan, told us we HAD to go to a place called Please Don’t Tell. I am so happy he recommended it! It has no sign, in fact, it has no door to the outside. You go into a little hotdog restaurant, pick up the phone that is in the phone booth on the wall, ask if they have room, and if so, they will open the door through the backside of the phone booth into this secretive, dark, quiet bar! Its so crazy! They even have rules (and super expensive drinks!!)

9. Alice’s Tea Cup: If I was turning 6, I would want my birthday party here! So colorful, delicious, and full of tea! I am not really a tea drinker, but if I had tea like that around all the time, I might would convert!

10. What’s NYC without pizza?

I am so grateful to Lindsay for letting us stay in her beautiful apartment! She has the most amazing view of the Queensboro Bridge! And her apartment is HUGE for NYC! Not only was it a blessing to get to stay there, but it was incredible to get to see Lindsay! She is one of the most caring, gentle, kind, God-fearing, and not to mention smartest people I know. She is getting her PHd from Rockefeller University in Neurogenetics. She is currently researching one of my biggest questions: why mosquitos bite some people more than others! Love you Linds!!

Lindsay and her awesome boy, Rudy!

Power through the Powder!

2011-02-11T12:50:00.001-05:00

Annie (a co-worker!) and me!

Like I have mentioned before, the Dale House really loves to be able to give the residents opportunities to do things that they may never have had or may never have in their lives. One of those opportunities is made possible through the Breckenridge Outdoor Education Center (BOEC).

“The Breckenridge Outdoor Education Center (BOEC) is a national leader in outdoor adventure education serving all people, while ensuring that the outdoor adventure is accessible to those with disabilities and special needs.” (taken from boec.org)

BOEC offers all sorts of outdoor activities (skiing, snowboarding, fishing, hiking, etc.) at super low prices to kids with disabilities and their chaperones! Even better…all of the BOEC guides are volunteers!! Pretty cool, huh?

So while the kids at the DHP aren’t technically “special needs,” we were somehow able to qualify for BOEC’s programs! Each resident that wants to go only has to pay $45 for a full day of snowboarding/skiing, rentals, and a personal instructor! What a deal! And its awesome for me, because each resident also has to have a chaperon…which is where I come in!

I would not consider myself a skier, (I am slowly learning to not just pizza the whole way down the mountain!), but I was able to go and “chaperon” “Sarah.” I use quotes because she did NOT need me! She did so great at her first time on a snowboard! By the end of the day she was beating me down the slopes and barely even falling! Our instructor (who was from England by the way…free day of skiing with a British instructor? Yes please!) was so impressed by Sarah!

It was so much fun to get to be with Sarah and do something adventurous together. The kids really loved it too. My favorite part of the whole day I think, was the ride home. After all the talk of how great the day way, all the residents fell asleep. The car was quiet. I didn’t just like that the car was quiet, but I liked what the quiet represented. It just seemed so peaceful, like they had a great day and were able to sleep soundly after it.

Sarah rocking it on the board!

Thankfulness

2011-02-03T17:35:00.001-05:00

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

A few weeks ago, I did my devo on being able to praise God through things and seeing his hand in the inner workings of our lives. I felt like the Lord had really been tugging on my heart, trying to get to me to see his goodness in all the crappy things that happen to these residents and just in life in general. I had my co-workers write things where they had seen God work on little squares of paper and tape them to this canvas I had painted. It was cool for me to read them and realize just how much the Lord is working here.

I have still been thinking about that devo I did and trying to see the Lord more. Today, Ted’s devo took my thoughts a little deeper. It was really awesome.

I was super challenged by Ted’s devo. I love listening to Ted talk. He is just so passionate, genuine, and wise. I always feel encouraged and challenged by him. Today he read the verse above (1 Thessalonians 5:18). He discussed how giving thanks is God’s will for our lives. I thought that was just crazy. I often think that “doing this, or doing that” is God’s will for my life, or often pray “God, show me your will for my life,” but there it is laid out plainly in scripture: giving thanks in all circumstances is God’s will for my life.

Ted went on to talk about how being thankful in circumstances, regardless of what they might be, can really help the outlook and the attitude of the situation. Even if we are not thankful for the circumstance, we should be thankful in the circumstance. He also talked about how he wants his thankfulness to come from the Lord, not from himself. I often find myself being thankful for something because that’s how I was raised—not because my inner thankfulness is from God—or because there is something obvious that I need to be thankful for. However, I want my thankfulness to be inner and to come from the Lord regardless of the situation.

I think if I could really practice being thankful in all circumstances that my life would be totally different. I could see the good instead of the bad or the Lord instead of the trial.

That’s something I am praying for myself: that I would be able to be genuinely thankful in the circumstances that the Lord puts in my life. I pray that for you too.

The Fatherless

2011-01-24T17:54:00.001-05:00

I’ve really be wrestling recently with whether I want to be involved with kids like the ones that live at the DHP for the rest of my life. It is not easy. It is not even fun really. It is definitely something I could choose to not be a part of for the rest of my life if I wanted too. Kids like these are easy to avoid. Hect, they have been avoided their whole lives. I have had thoughts like “only 5 more months, then my life will be easier. I can just teach during the day and then go home and relax at night. I won’t have to worry about all the crap these kids have been through. I won’t be around them, so I won’t have to care. I can avoid them when I’m finished here.”

Those thoughts really bothered me. But I didn’t know why really. I felt like it was fine for me to just want to take care of my future family, so why was I feeling so uneasy when I had thoughts like that?

During his family night talk one Sunday night, George answered that question for me .

He started his talk by saying that “Sarah” had come into his office to have a chat. George loves talking with Sarah because even though Sarah can be a wild woman sometimes, she is very perceptive and tuned into herself, to others, and to life. George said Sarah was talking about her life…about the pain of losing people she cares about, about feeling abandoned, about how difficult it is to trust, and about how she feels about herself.

He then shared a quote by Winston Churchill who was prime minister of Great Britain and who had a hellish childhood.

“What greater tragedy can there be than is presented by the spectacle of a child whose life prospects and hopes are smashed at the very outset of his or her existence.”

George said “I know many of you in this room have had that happen…hopes smashed, life crushed, you’ve been hurt and abandoned, disappointed by people who were supposed to love you.”

Then he paused.

“Even though people may let you down…” he said, “ …God has an extra special love and concern for you guys in this room.”

He then continued to share how the Bible talks over and over and over again about the very special love that God has for kids who have lost fathers and mother, who have been abandoned or abused or neglected, who have suffered.

James 1:27 “Religion that is pure and genuine in the sight of God is this: to care for orphans and widows in their distress.”

George shared this verse, of which I was very familiar, but then proceeded to share lots more Scripture about caring for the fatherless.

Duet 10:11 “Celebrate the Feast of Weeks—give a freewill offering and include in your worship the aliens, the fatherless, and the widows. Remember you were slaves in Egypt. Be joyful—include the fatherless in your feasts.

Duet 10:18 “He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing, and you are to love them…”

Psalm 10:14 “But you, O God, do see trouble and grief; you consider it to take it in hand. The victim commits himself to you; you are the helper of the fatherless.”

Psalm 68:5 “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing.”

George shared a lot more from Job, Hosea, Zechariah, Malachi, Isaiah, and Jeremiah, etc.—all showing the special concern that God has for the fatherless.

That was it.

God had spoken to me through George. He clarified yet again what I have felt for a majority of my life—that I, too, am called to love the fatherless, abandoned, hurting.

I don’t know what my future will be. I don’t know what I will be doing or what my family will look like, but I do realize that God has given me a special desire to love the unloved. I can’t say I am necessarily excited about that because I know it will be challenging. I also know it is truth and through that I will have more joy than the joy I could have from an “easy” life. I now realize why the “I desire the easy life” thoughts I was having just weren’t clicking. God was yanking at my heart…and I can’t avoid that.

They have dreams too…

2011-01-24T16:31:00.001-05:00

In honor of the recent Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday, we dedicated a family night to celebrating him and the amazing life he had. We watched a video about him and afterwards asked each of the residents to complete their very own “I have a dream” speech. I wanted to share some excerpts from one of the residents speech.

“I have a dream that one day I will view myself the way God views me. I have a dream that everyone will feel like they are worthy of love. I have a dream that no child will go without parents, that moms will stay and dads will never go away. I have a dream that no one will be homeless, that everyone will have a home, a safe place to be. I have a dream that one day hate will be non-existent, that people won’t cause each other pain and when the words I love you are spoken, they are not said in vain.”

I often am blinded by the bad attitude and hard face that these residents put on. I forget that underneath all that, they are just a regular kid, whose been through a pile of tough stuff in their life. I forget that they don’t particularly enjoy the chaos in their lives. I forget that maybe they want something different for themselves, but just don’t know how to achieve that. I forget that they, too, have dreams.

Half Way—6 Month Update!

2011-01-21T13:55:00.002-05:00

I think I am getting mushier in my old age. I just love Christmas. I was so excited to go home and see Allan and my babies and the rest of my family! I love the feelings that surround Christmas and the memories that I take with me each year. I feel so blessed to have sweet memories and excited feelings surrounding Christmas. It truly is a gift and a blessing! I learned that more this year than ever before! The residents here don’t have much to be excited about during the holiday season. They don’t have family that welcome them home with open arms. They don’t have stockings with their name cross-stitched hanging above the fire. They don’t have presents waiting under a tree in a decorated house that smells like country ham. We try our best here to create a homey feeling, but it just is not the same. Why am I so blessed? It is only by the grace of God. I am grateful.

Christmas was great. I flew into Charleston, then Allan and I made the drive to Winston-Salem for the annual Hill Holiday Holla and Hallelujah. It was fun to dress up with my family, take pictures, and see some old friends!!

We celebrated Christmas the next day on Christmas Eve! Meemaw came, Honey Cate and Kessler made things amazing because of their cuteness, and Allan made my dad cry with Masters tickets!

Christmas Day was filled with laziness and SNOW!! It was so awesome!

The rest of the time in Winston was filled with hanging out with the family, opening presents at Meemaw’s house with the Crafts, meeting good friends for lunch, and me trying to spend as much time with Honey and Kessler as I possibly could!!

It was so fun to be in Charleston too and hang out with Allan’s family, watch the UNC/Tennessee football game, play with their poodles, learn how to ride a dirt bike, run over the bridge, celebrate the new year (pictured is Allan’s sister, Emily and her fiancé, Adam!) , meet some of Allan’s new friends from MUSC, and ride horses!!

Allan’s first day of class happened to be the last day I was in Charleston. The calendar on the MUSC website was wrong, so I ended up going to class with Allan before I left! It was actually kind of cool to see what he does everyday, where he sits, who he listens too. I caught up on my blog :) and was thankful the whole time that I didn’t have to try to understand what the professors were talking about!! After class, we tried out one of Charleston’s many build your own yogurt shops, which was fantastic! :) My flight ended up getting cancelled, and I got a little gift from Jesus to stay an extra night!

Coming back has been a hard transition for me. I am just now starting to feel energized here again. Everyone is finally back from vacations and it feels nice to be with all my Colorado family again!

Over break, Kim, our amazing secretary, was diagnosed with Leukemia. She is such a fighter and the most joyful cancer patient I have ever met!! She was cheerfully working up until the day she was diagnosed and the doctor told her she would have been dead in 3 weeks had she not come in. I still have yet to hear her complain about anything. You can read more about her here! She is amazing. Kallie and I went to visit her and got this awesome shot with her in our masks :)

Drew, Natalie, Honey actually got to come visit for a day too! They were in CO visiting friends from seminary, but made the trek down to the Springs to visit for a day. It was nice to have them here! I got to take them to Agia Sophia (!!!) and to meet one of my primaries! Honey loved Agia Sophia’s whip cream :)

Kallie and I went to the 2011 National Western Stock Show in Denver! It was so fun!! I had never seen broncos, and I was just amazed that people were riding them! It was such a country place to be, but another good excuse to put on those cowboy boots :)

I am glad to be back here. I continue to struggle with how to love these residents, how to really care for them and help them overcome the terrible things they have gone through in their lives. It is so tough. I realize just how selfish I am because I find myself just not wanting to deal with the issues at hand. I just want the stuff to go away, to work itself out. I frustrate myself in that sense. But the Lord is faithful to me. Somehow He feels me up and allows me to continue day in and day out here. I certainly could not do this on my own. I am grateful for the restful vacation in NC/SC. I am grateful for a family and friends that encourage and love me. I am grateful for co-workers that make it exciting to come back to CO. I am grateful for bosses that take time to really know me, to find out how I am doing.

I am amazed that I only have 5 months left here. I know I’ll miss this place.

Love like that

2011-01-09T16:08:00.001-05:00

This weekend has been, well, tough. It is my first weekend back to work since returning to CO and leaving my comfort in NC. I forgot so quickly how much hurt and pain lives within these residents and how it manifests itself in the house.

I am on my break. I am not wanting to go back to work. I am not wanting to face the pain and the hurt.

This song just came on my itunes and it really reminded me that I need to get over myself and my emotions.

It says “God loves that guy…God loves that guy…teach me to love, teach me to love, teach me to love like that…”

Here is the youtube video for you. Enjoy… and love like that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Khw3GOQ824

5 (and a half) month update!

2011-01-04T12:06:00.001-05:00

Man, this update is WAY overdue. I am currently sitting with Allan at MUSC as he listens to a lecture about GI/Renal stuff, and I am trying to catch up on the blog! It has been a great 2 week break, but more on that later! I have to do my monthly update first :)

The pas month was hard at the DHP. As you have read in the other posts, Christmas season is just a hard time for the residents. Their attitudes seemed to get worse, almost all the residents were either unemployed, or under-employed, meaning lots of boredom for them, job hunting for the both of us, and just plain frustration all around. I think my attitude was also worse because I knew it was almost time for my break, time to see Allan, time to see Honey and Kessler and my family! It was also a special time though, getting ready for Christmas at the DHP and just getting to share that time with the residents.

A lot happened this past month, so I’m going to recap the past month in photos for you! (much of this is in previous posts)

<---Allan came to visit!! He was here to celebrate Thanksgiving and I loved that he got to meet my primaries!

The kids got a chance to knock us out…jousting! Thanks for First Pres for letting us borrow this awesome inflatable jousting ring :) --->

<---“John” and I went to see Blue Man Group to celebrate his birthday!

We decorate for Christmas by making stockings, decorating a tree, making Christmas’s lists, and putting lights on the house! --->

<---We got ready for the Cali trip! Each Christmas the DHP takes the residents to Cali. They go to places like Disney Land, NBA games, The Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, etc.I can’t wait to hear all about it from the residents!!

I saw the third Chronicles of Narnia in 3D with my team!! --->

<---The male training staff took an amazing Christmas photo inspired by the Christmas picture from my brother’s training staff year, which still hangs on their fridge!

Kallie and Steph decorated our apartment with a Christmas tree!! --->

<---The DHP staff celebrated Christmas in style! This is the one day a year when George says we have to dress up for work :)

We wrapped LOTS of presents for our primaries! The DHP gave us $100 to buy gifts plus tons of donations were given to help give these kids a great Christmas! --->

<---I gave John one of his gifts before I left for vacation! A new pair of Jordans :) He was stoked!

I made canvases for the girl residents and gave it to them the night before I left! --->

My uncle donated some money so I could buy some presents for Julie and Adrian! They were excited about their diapers, wipes, clothes and camera! Thanks Uncle T! --->

There you have month 5 (and a half). When I am in the midst of the month, it seems long and hard. I am thankful for the pictures and the time I spend recounting the month. It allows me to really see the good things and fun times that were had throughout the month. I often get blinded by the frustrating things of working at the DHP, but it is clear that the Lord is working and I am here for a purpose. I am continuously reminded of his care for me and these residents. Thank you guys for supporting me and encouraging me when I am down. I know I say it a lot, but I seriously cannot believe I only have 5 months left! Thanks for your continued prayers! Come visit!

Party Time!

2011-01-04T11:13:00.001-05:00

Here are some photos from the DHP staff Christmas party. The DHP is right up there with Chic-fil-a and Disney World in being one of the best organizations in the USA. They just really know how to take care of employees and do a great job at creating a community. I truly feel so blessed to get to work with all of these people, learn from them, be encouraged by them, hang out with them, voice frustrations with them, and spend a year with them. They are awesome. Merry (belated) Christmas from the DHP staff :)

Pictured: The 2 tables

The 2 teams

The 2 NC girls with George!!

Blue Birthday!

2011-01-04T10:44:00.001-05:00

One of the best things about working at the DHP is that I get to work with my primary “John".” He is just awesome. His story is similar to the others: his biological mom is addicted to Meth, his sisters (both of whom lived at the DHP) need a lot of help, one is addicted to Meth and the other has 3 kids and is the victim of domestic abuse. He traveled across the country as a child with his mom trafficking drugs. He was adopted when he was 8, but his adopted mom has only been to see him 3-4 times in 5 months.

All sad. Yes. But that doesn’t stop John. No way. He is a hard worker. He wants to be different. He wants to help his sisters. He wants them to be clean of drugs. He wants his sister’s kids to have a safe home. He wants to be able to provide for a family. He worked his butt off for 4 months washing dishes at Denny’s. He busted his tail looking for another job and now has a really cool job working with a company that contracts with the DHP. He is going to college this January. He told me he never thought he would go to college.

He also turned 19 this December. For his birthday, I thought it would be fun to do something really special. Back in August, I heard that the Blue Man Group was coming to Denver! That was it…that was the special gift!! I bought tickets and kept it a secret from him until about 30 minutes before we arrived. It almost killed him! He wanted to know what his present was soooooo badly! I just told him to dress nice and we were leaving at 5 :)

We stopped for dinner and then headed to the show. It was incredible to get to go to this with John! He was excited about the lights, the billboards, just being in a city! He even loved the parking deck!! He also loved Blue Man Group. He gave me a huge hug at the end and told me it was the best birthday ever.

Now, I don’t have children of my own, but working with my primaries has given me a small glimpse into the life of being a parent. Dropping John off at the DHP that night was strange. I truly was so gleeful that John loved the Blue Man Group, I enjoyed doing it with him. I wanted to be able to do more, to just show him even more that he is worth tickets to a show plus more. I was kinda emotional knowing he was getting older. At the same time as these emotions, I was sad that he lives at the DHP, not because it is a bad place to be (quite the opposite actually) but because what he has been through in his life has led him here. He has been through so much crap that I wish he did not have to experience. It was weird to have those feelings, but I do believe the Lord has given me a love for this guy, a desire to help show him his worth. I am thankful for that.

Santa Socks

2011-01-04T10:28:00.001-05:00

Like I said in the previous post, the DHP really goes all out for Christmas! Every family night in December was spent in effort to celebrate the coming of Jesus in a fun way! The week after we decorated the house, we spent the night making our own stockings so Santa could stuff them full of goodies :)

The residents really got into this. The garage was filled with supplies like glitter, glue, paint, shapes, fabric, ribbons, etc. and the residents could decorate their stocking however they wanted to. They got really creative!! (and a little too glittery! :))

One of my favorite things about this night was that the house was filled with old residents!! That is one thing I love about the Dale House and actually one reason I wanted to work there: the fact that old residents come back because it is home to them. One old resident caught the Frex bus all the way from Denver so she could come back and visit because she missed the atmosphere of the DHP. It was like a big reunion, everyone coming home for the holidays. I loved being a part of that night and seeing people just enjoy being together.

Time to Decorate!

2011-01-04T10:01:00.001-05:00

Christmas is often a very hard time for the residents of the Dale House. It is a time I look forward to because of family, laughter, fun, and being together. For the residents, it seems to just serve as a reminder of the disappointment they have experienced in their lives. Many of the kids have celebrated Christmas (or Christmases) in jail, without family, without decorations, presents, love. Why should they be excited for Christmas? Its just a time to remind them they are alone.

The DHP does a great job to try to change the emotions the residents have that surround Christmas. We recognize it is a hard time, but really try to show the kids how loved they are and give them a Christmas to remember. One way we do this is to decorate the house!!

In order to decorate a house for Christmas…you have to have a tree!!! So, Ted (one of the permanent staff) took about 8 kids out to the woods to pick out the perfect tree. And perfect it was (pictured to the right).

We then spent a family night making our own ornaments for the tree, decorating the tree, writing out Christmas lists, thinking of Christmas wishes, making red and green chains to decorate the house, and putting lights on the front of the house. Each kids got to participate in every activity. It was so fun to watch them “let loose,” be a kid, and celebrate Christmas like it should be celebrated.

The finished Christmas tree……before it fell!

Yes I Can

2010-12-08T17:49:00.001-05:00

Right now I am weary, frustrated, stressed, and just plain wanting to run away from this place. Every day is a struggle and I am getting worn down. I feel like I am in constant conflict with the residents. Simple things are made into such a battle. I got yelled at by a resident for saying “I’m sorry” and “thank you” too much. I realize it is just because this “normal” way of handling myself is something she is not familiar with. She is used to being cussed at and yelled at. In the same way it is uncomfortable for me to be yelled and cussed at, maybe it is uncomfortable for her to have people love her and believe in her. I am tired of fighting. I am tired of sarcastic attitudes. I am tired of these residents not realizing their potential and wanting to change. I am sick of the fact that change is so hard for them because they have spent 17-18 years of their lives knowing nothing but hardship, nothing but fighting, nothing but hurt.

But then I am reminded that this is just one year out of my life. I can escape. I can call people who love me and will encourage me. I can leave here in a year and all these problems will go away. The residents cannot. These struggles that I am currently bearing with them will be a constant battle for the rest of their lives. I don’t have to battle the effects of sexual abuse, physically abusive parents, gang affiliation, drug use, being a crack baby, living on the streets, not having anyone who cares for me. These kids do not have family that they can call for encouragement or people outside of the Dale House who even love them. It breaks my heart when I realize that. I feel guilty when I get frustrated with the kids because I cannot imagine waking up and facing the day if I had been through half of the things they have been through. I don’t give them enough credit.

As I sat with my co-workers this morning writing Christmas cards to our donors, I was reminded that I am not alone here, even when I feel beat up. Not only do I have the people I work with, but I have a list of people at home that are supporting me and cheering me on here. It is so humbling to see that list and realize that these people are behind me in this, supporting me, loving me, and being Christ to me. I have way more people on that list than I deserve.

So I can do this. I can love these kids through all the crap they are dealing with. I can do this because it is what I have been called to do. I can do this because Jesus gave me a heart for kids like these, neglected, hurting, kids. I can do this because I have friends and family who love and support me. I can do this because I serve a mighty God. I can do this because that mighty God loves these kids and wants them to know that. I can do this because his grace is sufficient for me. I can do this because His power is made perfect in my weakness.

SANTA?! I know him!!!

2010-12-03T19:50:00.001-05:00

Enjoy :)

http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/A8ZEOUjrsBi4Fvsu?cmpid=ey_fb_friend

and this one too.

http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/PuMZBV68bnXmDh1c?cmpid=ey_fb_friend

MERRY CHRISTMAS :)

Short but oh So Sweet

2010-11-30T18:59:00.005-05:00

Not to sound mushy, but I just love it when Allan is close. I am so thankful he was able to come visit! It was such a quick trip but filled with fun :)

On Friday, we decided to take advantage of the freezing cold and go skiing. I am a pretty bad skier to say the least, but Allan stuck with me the whole time! I was going so slowly that I think I went up the mountains at some points. He was really helpful though in teaching me the S technique to help with my speed and how to control my skis. I loved skiing on the fresh powder! I am used to the ice of NC! What a huge difference! I’m excited to try again :)

I also took him to my favorite ice cream place (of which I have blogged about before!). You can get HUGE cones for $1! That is so awesome. I’m excited to take my mom there when she comes to visit. You will love it, mom! We were also able to get the holiday season officially started by watching Elf, the best Christmas movie ever.

It’s always sad to see him go, but I am thankful for the short time we had together!

I also got pretty exciting news….my little cousin (by 7 days!) is getting married!! :) Congratulations Robbie and Liz!